You’re at a gathering in the park, the sun is beaming on a 27 degree day (this is very hot for the UK) and everybody there is doing the drugs, dancing to music or talking to each other. The vibe is calm and you’re most likely wondering why there’s no BBQ, well guess what? There is. The social atmosphere surrounding the park has got you talking to everybody so you strike up a conversation with an interesting looking person and who could imagine that the passion that they have for their dreams matches yours, there’s a connection which signals the makings of a long lasting friendship. You ask them “what do you with yourself?” anxiously waiting for the answer so the conversation can continue for you to find out more about them and 5,4,3,2,1 “I’m a creative…”, you blatantly mouth out “what the fuck!?” and they see you do it as the situation begins to grow awkward because you have nowhere to go from that point.

It probably doesn’t go like that for most but when it comes to me, I have to ask what is a creative? I see so many people around my age group branding themselves as creatives and I don’t get it. I’ve always believed that creative is a quality, not a job title so when people do things, even if they’re hobbies, the term creative simply doesn’t work. It almost seems like someone who brands themselves as a creative does so because they don’t want to say what exactly it is they do but the thing is, nobody is obligated to share what they do with others and there are more effective ways of dancing past that subject in my opinion. What I’ve just wrote may not be the case but if somebody does something in the creative field, surely it makes more sense to just say what it is, if you write, then you’re a writer, if you draw then you’re an artist not this business of using an umbrella term that just about means something.

There are a lot of things that make me wonder about people my age. When I look on social media it looks like we’re all trying to be a part of something, we’re all trying to make ourselves seem grander than we are so we start giving ourselves titles. I can’t say how many people there are who sell shirts and call themselves CEO’s, the amount of people who make YouTube videos and start referring to themselves as social media influencers, the amount of people who start writing raps and calling themselves executive lyricists (I made the last one up). The title sounds cool but it doesn’t really add anything, I can’t think of an upside of referring to yourself that way.

Me when I see someone calling themselves a “creative”

There’s a side to this “I’m a creative” stuff that I’m not seeing and I would like to understand it. No matter how much I’ve thought about it from my point of view, I can’t help but feel that it’s a pompous way for someone to describe themselves. I’m not going to lie, I really don’t like the term and when someone describes themselves as a creative, I just want to switch off. If being a creative means something beyond the quality then I’d like to know so that I can make sense of it. Truth be told, even if I do ever understand what that term means, I know for a fact that I’ll never refer to anybody as one, but still that doesn’t stop from wanting to know what it means.


Virtue signallers…

People when they get a chance to virtue signal

The other day, I saw a fight and I’m going to be honest, one of the people involved looked like he was getting rocked UFC style. It all seemed to happen in slow motion because he couldn’t find his balance but he was eating those fists. I’m surprised he didn’t get injured a lot more because it was definitely a four on one but that’s not the point. A lot of people stood watching the fight and one person walked past saying “It’s funny how no one wants to call the police.” She left and the person next to me asked why she couldn’t do that and he brought up a very valid point.

Me and the person I was next to watching the fight

I can’t stand virtue signallers, always pretending to take the moral high ground in order to show that they have the wellbeing of others in mind yet when it comes down to the actual thing, they’re just as idle as those who aren’t signalling. I don’t understand what people gain from pretending to care, actions will always speak louder than words so if you don’t follow through, then are you really in the right for calling people out on not doing what you supposedly think is the right thing to do? People aren’t perfect and humans won’t always have the right response in a situation but we can definitely call bullshit on someone who also doesn’t have the right response but wants to seem like they do, so it’s easier just to not do it.

Virtue signallers are on the same level as people who snap in the club pretending to enjoy their time just so that people can validate them. It’s all a facade, a crappy one at that and it does no favours for anybody, you’d think by now people see that kind of stuff as a waste of time but it seems to me as if more people are doing it and I know that I’ll never truly understand why. There are some situations that are hard to be truthful in but I don’t think they’re the ones where people virtue signal, it looks as if people just want to feed their egos when they do the whole virtue signalling thing and that’s fucking annoying.

Life isn’t a competition so there’s no need for anybody to really try and prove something only for it to be obvious that it means nothing to everyone involved. If you want to be an example you’ve got to lead by it, we’re told this God knows how many times.

Random thought

When it comes to newspapers, we know that they have audiences they appeal to and they also have political sides that they like to take. It helps to explain why you see so many of the same kinds of people reading them, I don’t have a problem with that because being completely objective is impossible in my opinion. I do have an issue with the way that journalists write for a paper and what they’re willing to do in order to fit in with the narrative. The media is powerful and people who are involved in the media definitely understand the kind of power that they wield in their hands, I think anyone who gets involved in that industry realises that there’s a degree of power that they’re given and it doesn’t seem to matter as to whether you’re fair with your use of it or not.

If you know about the Daily Mail, then you know that they like certain kinds of people and there are others that they’re extremely willing to demonise. One person that the Daily Mail likes to point its gun at is Stormzy, a well known grime MC who’s not afraid to speak his mind. It goes further than that though, it’s not only the fact that they paint him in a bad light when he’s the focus of their articles but when it comes to people that he’s worked with who get in trouble, they’re very quick to mention his name as if he’s involved and that only helps to make him look worse. I doubt that the Daily Mail are going to stop but it got me thinking about how journalists don’t seem to feel any kind of way about tarnishing somebody else’s name just because it puts money in their pockets.

Daily Mail journalists when they get a chance to ruin someone’s name

I get that in a professional environment, you have to put your personal feelings aside but when it comes to journalism it almost seems as if there’s a vendetta when journalists write about people on behalf of their paper. I kind of get that their hands are tied but if I’m being honest, I can’t respect it at all; I don’t like the whole idea of talking badly about someone that you personally have no problem with and the refusal to hold back when doing it, there’s such a lack of integrity in it. It can also have a deep effect on the subject of the article and the thing is that said person is the one who has to deal with the fall out whilst the journalist goes on living their life.

Wishing for just journalism is a dream, I don’t think it’s in the nature of it but I still feel like the reasons to practically take the identity of your paper to speak in a certain way of someone who might not even bother you aren’t really justified.


Thinking about what an aura

I’m interested in the word aura, I want to know what it means to people. When I first saw the word, it part of the name for an attack in Pokémon (and the move was kind of cool to be fair). I haven’t really done research into what an aura is and I don’t know if a dictionary definition can help me. So far, I’m assuming that it’s something to do with the energy that you put out (maybe it could be spiritual) but I want to be clearer in understanding it because I have some ideas of my own.

The thing that made me think about the word was a Jay Z interview that I came across not too long ago, and just watching the way he talked kind of gave me an indication as to what kind of character he is. It’s weird because I shouldn’t really know anybody from an interview, especially when they’re not really talking about themselves but sometimes you can watch someone and feel as if you’ve learned something about them just from watching their mannerisms (I hope this isn’t just me). Jay Z is very quiet person, I don’t think I’ve seen him speak on enough things to judge how insightful he is but I know that he commands respect (as long as you’re not one of those 2000’s kids who’s trying to force the idea that Beyoncé made him relevant). When it comes to music and possibly even issues concerning race from a celebrity standpoint, you could say that he’s an influential figure but the thing is that nobody officially put him there. There are a lot of people who want to be in that position (don’t believe me? search Twitter) but they’ll never have that kind of clout.

Me looking at people on Twitter desperate for clout

When I think about aura, part of why I’m not so clear on it is because I don’t think I can fully buy that it’s the energy you put out as I wrote before. I think it’s more to do with your presence, you know when you meet someone but you don’t even think for a second about sizing them up? (to be honest people shouldn’t be sizing others up anyway) I feel aura is more closely related to that. I feel it makes sense if it’s related to everything that surrounds you and how you’re received. There are definitely people out there who have strong personalities but the respect factor is lacking, but even weirder, it kind of makes sense why even if it can’t be explained. I think I’m basically describing an extension of a person, it’s not something that you actively control but they way it works will make you understand why some people are perceived the way that they are (I’m not even sure if this is making sense, I hope you get my point). Have you ever met someone that in hindsight you feel they didn’t deserve to get to know you, yet you entertained them for a long time? Their aura allows them to have that kind of stay in my opinion.

An aura could probably be felt through the television screen or a radio broadcast. I may just be getting it confused with perception because me viewing someone in one way doesn’t mean that others will view them in that way. It’s a good thing that it’s subjective because then I can get some ideas on what it might mean and with that being said, I’d appreciate it if you let me know what you think an aura is.


Me when I see mess

Cleaners are MVPs if I’m being honest. It’s such an underappreciated role and some people out there think that they’re better than others because those others are cleaners but that’s complete nonsense. I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a cleaner’s union because I feel they could really gain some clout if they managed to organise a cleaner’s strike. When I’m working, I see people drop so much crap on the floor without giving a single fuck as to who’s going to get rid of it. I can bet my paycheque that the same people who dirty up my workplace will come up to me or any of my colleagues complaining about how dirty the place is.

Every time I have to think about people complaining about a situation that they caused

There are so many things that a cleaner has to deal with; food (which is sometimes chewed up), drinks, piss, vomit, blood and that’s only a part of it. Nobody likes the idea of cleaning up after the mess of others but when it comes down to others who have to clean up after them, all of a sudden it’s not so bad. I’m not sure how much it matters to people if cleaners want to see the shit that they leave behind or not and what makes it worse is that cleaners aren’t exactly in a position to refuse to do anything about it because most people will answer that it’s their job. Part of my job is to help people find their way home but if someone was to tell me that they wanted to get from point A to point B, then tell me that halfway between point A and B, they wanted to find a specific road, to go to a shop and ask me to find out when the shop closes, then come back from the shop with enough time to get to point B within 30 minutes of leaving point A, I’d tell them that they’re taking the piss. I kind of feel that if you can translate that to a cleaner’s role, that’s kind of what they’re going through.

Sometimes, when I’m walking around and I stare at the floor I get a little disgusted but it’s more due to the fact that people disrespect the purpose of the bin only to dirty up the floor that other people have to step on. Floors tend to get dirty but it doesn’t mean that people have to go into areas and purposely dirty them up just because they know that somebody else has to do with it.

Many times I’ve looked at the floor and other places and when I’ve seen what’s been left there, I tell myself that I’m not touching any of that crap. I’ll even admit that sometimes I’m a little thankful that if I do clean something up, it’s by choice. In all of this, I don’t think it would bother me as much if cleaners got paid well but they don’t. From what I know cleaners get paid minimum wage, which is something else that helps to show the regard that cleaners are held in, nobody has ever said it to me but the attitude almost seems to be that they’re expendable. Let’s be honest, cleaners aren’t expendable (at least in my opinion they aren’t) because there are a lot of people out there who aren’t willing to do any of things that they do on any given day, yet alone everyday for a living. Whenever we walk through buildings or streets aren’t stained with rubbish, we’ve got to give the credit where it’s due.

Random thought

Me when I’m about to watch porn

What is it about porn that makes it watchable? We’ve all done it, on an unsuspecting day where you’ve felt horny and it seems that porn is the only option and after, you’re filled with whatever emotion porn makes you feel.  The actual concept of porn is so disturbing when you think about it, paying (maybe, possibly, probably… not) to watch two (sometimes more) strangers have sex on the internet or watching one person do sexual acts. From what I understand but don’t quote me on this, only 4% of the internet is porn but most people prefer to spend their spare time on their computers watching it.

There are lots of genres of porn so there’s a little something for everybody out there, there are also a lot of good looking people in the porn industry as well. Those are the only pros I can think of when it comes to the viewer, everything else is just a little weird, I’ve had this thought loads of times about porn (not that it’s actually stopped me from watching it) and it seems like one of life’s greatest mysteries to me. I’ve heard that porn is a multibillion dollar industry which I kind of believe, I feel I shouldn’t but I know that sex sells. In terms of media, I always thought that the idea of sex sold more than the actual act because seeing somebody dressed so sensually leaves a lot to the imagination whereas watching it is something completely different.

I won’t even lie, sometimes I’ve viewed porn and thought ‘Damn! How are they pulling that off?’ but it’s not every time and I even ask myself what makes it watchable when I’m viewing it out of boredom. I know there’s variety when it comes down to it but let’s be honest, with each genre that you watch, you know exactly what you’re getting. It ends up becoming repetitive, usually there are better things that can be done but it’s still a beloved pastime for many. For some it’s addictive and I don’t think I get it, it doesn’t make sense, I get people watching it regularly but when you really think about what it is, how does even get there?

For me, when it comes to porn my major sticking point is that it’s strangers having sex on the internet and we watch it for entertainment. Imagine, two random people having sex publicly and watching that, the reaction wouldn’t be the same. Watching porn almost seems so normal that people are able to talk and joke about it and only share disgust at the worst kind of videos (usually the ones involving two women and shit). I’m not saying that it’s completely wrong to watch porn (although I think some religions ban it) I’m just saying that the attitude towards it is surprisingly casual considering what the actual act involves (which I’ve not articulated too well). I’m never going to get my head around it and what makes it watchable, when it comes to porn, I’m a slave to the rhythm…

Life and people


Sometimes I want to say that people can never be uninteresting, now we know what a fucking lie this is but there are a lot of people out there who are interesting. Meeting people and getting to know them is one reason that I’ll always say this is because of the different viewpoints that people have on life and what it is that fuels them (if it’s racists they can fuck off). There is so much information in this world and so many different experiences so when you meet someone you honestly never know what they could come up with (even if you feel that you’re a good judge of character).

I like to be agreeable and a lot of times when people talk to me, I feel like I can see the point of view that they’re coming from (was going to abbreviate part of that sentence but that doesn’t look so good thinking about it). One thing that I tend to talk to people about is money and the value of it and people will either say that it’s everything or it’s nothing but when going further into it, the reasons vary so much. The other day, I had a conversation with someone who told me that being a billionaire comes at a very huge price, one that he doesn’t believe is worth it. He told me that if I ever wanted to be a billionaire, I might as well get it out of my head or proceed at my own risk. Usually, when I talk about money, the people that I speak with will make the conversation lean towards the evils of the government, I personally don’t focus on that stuff because regards of what I do, the government will continue to commit its evils.

Me being agreeable

Money is only one thing, I hear stories of people embracing their inner scumbag in ways that I could only dream of, I hear stories of people doing some of the craziest things on holiday and getting some serious shit out of their system and don’t even get me started on the amount of times people have talked to me about cheating. The best thing is that when people talk about these things, not everybody will agree with it which will lead to an interesting discussion (unless you’re on twitter). This is definitely one of the better features when it comes to humans.

Random thought

My face when I have this kind of thought

Sometimes, it’s hard to know what you want from life. Life honestly can give you a taste of the things that you want although it won’t ever openly do this, it will always have a catch which will eventually have you on a train of thought wondering about its intricacies and if you’d ever be able to successfully rob a bank like it’s a movie. I love the idea of making money in my sleep; it’s possible even if it’s not likely. Let’s be honest, if life allowed humans to live whilst only being worried our basest desires I think most would take it without a second thought. There are people who are pretty close to this and they are greatly admired especially by those around my age.

BCE (Before Current Employment) I was on Jobseeker’s Allowance not being worried about shit except for getting into employment and whilst I had 24 hours to do whatever I wanted in a sense, being there sucked. How could it suck when I was practically where I wanted to be minus the money? Leaving that stage of life made me think about how I don’t want to be on JSA ever again or ever be like what I was but the thing is that my end goal to eventually be in a similar situation. I can see how people would look down on someone on JSA who does whatever the fuck they want with their day and would look up to someone who has all the money in the world and does whatever the fuck they want with their day but I still find it weird. Think about it for a second, when somebody doesn’t have a job and might be trying to do something with their life, it’s easy to brand them as a loser whereas the person who has achieved what they want and lives the lifestyle where they do what they want and don’t care anything could be admired for finding an alternative way to live life when it seemed that there was none.

Some people want to be in that safe space between being a child and being an adult but only if it works in a certain way. I don’t ever want to be on JSA again but it’s weird in a way, I feel like I could say that I was winning and you could say that those who are on JSA in the position that I was in are winning even if some would describe them as being behind. Just a thought.

Edit: The winning for JSA is minimal, I’ve seen some people that are on JSA and they’re completely happy to stay there.

LGBT = Get out of jail free?


Is being gay a get out of jail free card? There’s no doubt that there have been a lot of strides made with regards to the respect that members of the LGBT community get. When I was growing up, I saw that a lot more people were willing to claim that being gay was a choice rather than a natural orientation (some people still argue that it’s a choice but that’s not for this blog). Before I get too far off topic, (starting a new year in my old ways) I want to know if claiming to be gay or part of the LGBT community can get you out trouble.

Not too long ago, Kevin Spacey came under fire for pedophilia, naturally the former President of the United States apologised but in doing so he kind of pinned it on his homosexuality. Personally, I didn’t see the correlation and I can’t see how the LGBT community will forgive him for this. The one thing that I saw which stands above all else is that a lot articles that covered the topic focused on Spacey’s decision to come out of the closet rather than preying on an underage child. Whenever there’s some kind of madness, social media will always be vocal on it (did you see H&M?) but with that, it just kind of got swept under the rug.

I don’t understand how things that you’ve done in your past get pardoned by admitting your sexuality but then again, he’s had a career of doing horrible things like killing Zoe Barnes and Pete Russo, making illegal deals with the Chinese and of course neglecting Claire (poor Claire). Actually NO! Spacey admitting that he’s gay shouldn’t make all those things go away and yet it has. I know that in recent times, the world has become very soft so it’s no surprise that if there’s an opportunity to take advantage of political correctness then some will do it. I think everyone knows that what happened is messed up but the world is scared to vilify marginalised groups of people (except one) and because of this, I feel like people don’t really have to acknowledge when they fuck up because they can just hide behind one of these groups.

Moving forward, I wouldn’t be surprised if people used being gay or generally being part of the LGBT community to get out of crazy shit that they’ve done. You can legitimately get a prison sentence and say something like how you identify as a trans person who’s going through personal problems and the sentence has a good chance of being reduced and it’s unfair on people who actually are in said position. It seems like it’s a good way to improve your reputation as well; last year, I saw news about how there were two gay footballers in the Premier League who were prepared to come out, they never did however, it did get people talking about how the Premier League and football had moved away from the time where it was unthinkable that you could be gay and in the sport and it makes me ask if that was the end game. In saying all of this, I don’t doubt Kevin Spacey’s homosexuality but I will say that he’s proved there’s an advantage to admitting it.