Money & passion…

Show me the money

Recently, I’ve been thinking about passion and I can say fuck passion, I want money! I want money now! I want so much money that I won’t want money later on in life! I know that passion is good because of some link that it has to desire and other good qualities which don’t always mean something to me. That’s all I feel that I know about passion, the rest of my knowledge pretty much comes from the fact that it’s supposed to be good for me and it links to the entertainment value (or expectation of entertainment value) for whatever activity my passion is linked to.

Supposedly, money isn’t meant to motivate people, or at the very least it’s not meant to be the core motivation for why somebody wants to do well and I don’t really get it. Money isn’t everything, I understand this because I’ve seen a couple of situations where it’s been made clear to me that money gives you financial freedom and very little else. Despite the fact that I’ve seen those situations, I’m not going to act like money isn’t a necessity. I’m really not about taking a journey in search of a twisted upgraded quality of life that is cash free because I’d be lying to myself.

At some point, I’ve probably blogged about the importance of passion but as I’ve grown older, the idea has become less romanticised. I feel that my thoughts are changing because I just want to live an easy life and one way that is practically guaranteed for me to do so is to have financial freedom. I have a whole life to love stuff and at my age, a special place in my heart has been carved for things such as antagonising people, great customer service and not paying attention to the dreams of others. The thing is that I’m going to get to do those things at all points in my life (with the exception of customer service because… well… retirement) but I can’t say that I’m always going to have the opportunity to make money and live well off it. There’s only so much time before my energy runs out and I can’t prioritise myself.

I wouldn’t be feeling this way if money wasn’t a thing because I’d be too busy fighting some guy at Tesco for the last bag of chicken nuggets (or something along those lines). I’m not about to stray too far from my point though. My passion and desire for money almost go hand in hand at times, I can agree that it’s impossible to take something seriously enough to change your life if you lack the passion for it, however it’s not impossible to do something that will change your life for the better without passion (ask Mario Balotelli). I have these thoughts when I’m getting on with my day and to be honest, the more I think about it, the less appealing things seem to me if they don’t link to monetary gain. I couldn’t imagine receiving a pep talk based on passion, how would it go? “Jeffrey, it’s going to be a lot of hard work! You’re going to get a lot of rejections! People will not understand or support you until you’ve practically made your dream come true! You WILL shed a lot of tears but remember at the end of the day, you love what you do!”

I appreciate some of the sentiments I see in life such as passion over money but I want money (show me a broke person who doesn’t want money and I’ll show you a liar… maybe). Having passion is great but a reward is needed and money is one of if not the best reward. There isn’t a lot in this life that can be afforded to those without money and whilst money doesn’t have to solely drive people, I feel that it’s understandable if it does. If people want to do things purely out of love then salute to them because that thought is tiring. Money makes the world go round (and round) and I feel people should get in on that.


Some thoughts on success…

It’s tricky

One thing that I think about is how not everybody will make their dreams come true. It’s sad stuff which is why I have to give credit to those who make their dreams come true.  Sometimes, I look at the people who are successful in life that inspire me and I want to tell myself that the next spot at the top is mine but let’s be honest here, there isn’t a guaranteed spot at the top spot me, it’s not even guaranteed that there’s a spot in any light for me. Life does people so dirty like that and it is what it is.

Is that degrading or inspirational? (Word to Ab-Soul) I’m trying to figure this out to be honest with you. I remember watching a documentary where a man said that some people were born to be successful and others were born to be mediocre (or something along those lines) and I don’t want to say that the person is right HOWEVER, there is a lot of weight behind those words.

Not to be too negative here because there is always a good in the bad. Not everybody in this world will get what they want which is unfortunate but it does provide some decent motivation for those who feel that they don’t want to get lost in the matrix. I want everyone who reads this succeed (because fuck you if you don’t read this amazingly, awesome, outstanding blog with a total of a couple of views per post!!!) and hopefully it will happen. I feel like it’s a bit maddening when thinking of the possibility of failure which is a lot higher than most will want to admit.

Quick question time

Question time

Is having ambition disrespectful? Can it be offensive to aim high? I feel like it could be looked at in a way which is more negative than positive. It might just be a matter of context because let’s be honest, without context we’re fucking lost.

A few months ago, I was working with someone who was studying his A-levels. I probably could have guessed that he expected to achieve a lot from life when he told me that he planned on going to either Oxford or Havard for his university education.

My face when he said Oxford or Havard

Honestly, I could say loads about the encounter that I had with this person but that’s not relevant. The person was clearly smart and enjoyed interacting with people but, when I asked him if he would consider a job in the same industry as me, he shot it down quicker than ladies do to Johnny Bravo. I can’t remember what he said exactly but it was along the lines of he wants something much better. I can’t blame him because it’s the same for me.

I understand where he’s coming from but is it disrespectful to the people in my industry doing the same job as me? Some of the people that I’ve worked with absolutely love the industry and everything that comes with it (I had one person say to me that he wants to stay until he’s 90). Most people don’t get what they want from their professional careers but it doesn’t mean that they don’t work hard, even if they don’t put in the necessary amount of work to work efficiently on a daily basis, they work too hard to be looked down upon, right? The thing is that you can’t blame people for wanting more from life, even if they express it in a way that may seem disrespectful. I’m sure that I’ve heard somewhere that to be successful, you need to have a ruthless streak in you.


For somebody to state their ambition in a way that doesn’t seem offensive, does the ambition have to be modest? I feel like the world needs its dream chasers because everyone needs someone to support. Personally, I feel like I can’t connect to someone who says that they want to be the manager of an establishment the way that I could connect to someone who says that they want to own their own establishment. Not to say that I wouldn’t take the person who wanted to be the manager seriously but it comes across as so-so to me (just like a certain chain of Italian themed British restaurants… You know which one I’m talking about). There are a lot of people who feel as if they’re not built to work full time and some feel that they may do a 9-5 however, they can get high up which is fair especially given that in life a lot people go through the motions in their daily lives before going to sleep. I feel like it is what it is when somebody shuns an industry because the truth is that having ambition does come with thinking that certain places of work are for denizens…

I was about to write on but I just saw someone drive through the car park in a Porsche SUV and then saw another SUV which had leather seats and was coated a beautiful gold. I’ve lost my train of thought but I WANT THOSE CARS IN MY LIFE!!!


Fronting again…

Me thinking about this stuff

One of life’s cancers has crossed my mind again, I feel like I’ve wrote about this before at some point, probably more than once when I had my deep cap halfway on or something. I’m talking about people who struggle to keep in real and stay fronting. Humans lie, it is what it is, we front about all kinds of bullshit and sometimes we have to (jobs just don’t hand themselves out to university graduates) but it’s not always acceptable and, I wonder what the hell is going on sometimes.

The worst is when people lie about who they are! That shit makes no sense to me, I get that you can present yourself differently depending on the situation (my Twitter is nothing like my blog) but completely changing your character or making everything about you seem better than it actually is, is another level of pathetic. We all have flaws, we’re human and there’s a lot of bullshit at the surface (completely butchered Q-Tip’s line there) and as humans we train ourselves to a level where we can see through nonsense to a pretty decent degree. I can only imagine that people portray themselves in such a way because of the adoration and acceptance that they want from others which makes wonder why exactly? Longing for the acceptance of others sounds very insecure to me.

I’m getting tired reading this back

I knew a guy who tried so hard to present himself as what could be considered a perfect human, this person said so much about himself, consistently sucking himself off with everything that he said. The truth was that the dude had an ego that he couldn’t keep in check fused with a woeful level of arrogance and it was so clear that within six months of knowing the person anybody could see that the way the person spoke, he was fishing for compliments. The person added a lot of qualities to himself that he didn’t possess and I can’t understand why.

Nobody can relate to the fake (at least I hope they can’t) and why would anybody want to anyway? It’s our failures and lesser traits that makes others connect with us. Having qualities that make others want to aspire to be like us is great but I feel that if you want that to be an example for others then you need to let them notice that rather than announcing it, proclaiming your greatness in the very essence of the act is all about trying to get acceptance and that’s the first thought for me when I see people fronting. You can’t make everybody respect you, so don’t.

That’s just my thoughts, to each their own. I feel like when it comes to fronting, life doesn’t give you space for stupid antics after you leave college and I don’t think that’s unfair to say. It’s not a crime to have your own lane and the world and go down it (unless you’re a racist/rapist/paedophile or some other kind of cunt) especially given that people only get given one chance at being themselves.

Life is short…

This is life being happy at how short it knows it is

The cliché of life being short seems to gain more meaning, the older that I get. I don’t understand why life is like this? I’m a serial procrastinator and I make excuses for things that I can do relatively quickly, so when I look back at things (which I shouldn’t do as often as I do) life feels like it’s very short, although in the grand scheme of things it is.

Everybody has their tailor made expiry date and before that time comes it’s crazy to me how much of us end up doing the same things (mainly balancing out professional and personal lives in a way that probably leaves us too tired to deal with either). Where there’s a will there’s a way or so they say, so I’m assuming that in life we all have what we need to achieve all of the things that we want and make life a truly individual experience. There are so many times where I find myself bored and it makes me wonder if I’m doing life wrong but chances are that I’m doing it right (I used to work with a guy who said that most people go to work only to go home and watch porn and that’s why I say this). I saw a tweet a while ago where somebody said that there’s a whole world to explore and it hit home because of how true it is.

When I think about this kind of stuff, I get in one of those moods where I feel as if I understand why people say follow your passion (even though I want money). Whether life is about following your passion or not is for another day, life is probably about adding some kind of personal meaning to it. Looking at how short life is, it just gives me another level of respect for the people who try to do the most with themselves, some people spend time trying to make their dreams come true, others spend time travelling, in fact one woman that I went to university just spends all her time these days travelling and whilst a friend of mine and myself have two wildly different theories on how she’s managed to do this, it doesn’t change the fact that she understands (or it seems) that time is of the essence). There are just so many things that people do to enhance their quality of life.

We get stuck with bills and other bs, there’s no way around that but we really do have limited time. I feel like we barely get enough time to make an impact on things and I won’t even begin to talk about what could happen once we die. It’s crazy stuff to me.

Just gonna sit there and dislike shit because…


Once upon a time I was called a hipster and I thought ‘fuck you and everything you stand for!’ because I’m not a hipster. Admittedly, I do that thing where I don’t pay attention to popular things just because, I don’t do it often. At times I feel that things which are popular are kind of shit. When it comes to hating popular stuff or at the very least, disliking things that people are meant to like I think it can be a lifestyle for some but for others it’s just fun and that I respect. It’s not even about negativity, sometimes you just need those people who serve the purpose of opposing and antagonising.

I can’t mention any super personal experiences with these kind of people and the value that they have brought upon my life because of my power to retcon nonsense from my existence however, I can say that being an antagonist is fun (as fuck). Sometime this year or last, not that it matters, I went to a Monday Night Raw show with a friend of mine and when Roman Reigns came out we all started booing him. My friend, being the kind of person who actually understands the things he does turned around and asked me why we were booing him; it makes sense since we’ve had loads of conversations about how Roman Reigns isn’t as bad everybody wants to believe he is but anyway I told him to shut the fuck up and not ruin the moment! In all seriousness, I told him that booing Reigns is fun and we continued to boo him for the rest of the segment.

I used to put on my fake deep cap and wonder what kind of empty existence causes people to hate things (especially pop culture… GASP!) but now that I’ve grown up and realised that I don’t have time for pretending to be deep, I been able to really understand how fun it is to dislike shit at times. Watching people get upset about the fact that you dislike the shit that they like or joining forces with other people who don’t fuck with shit can bring an enjoyment that only comes from seeing the fun in not conforming.

It’s good for me to know that I’m aware I’m going to dislike shit just because. I originally wanted to write something very self-reflective showing how I’d grow as a person and stop being the guy who dislikes shit because it’s funny at times but now I’m thinking about the amount of times that I’ve been called a troll. It’s happened LOADS of time actually, I’m thinking that what I’ve described is along the lines of trolling but whatever, fuck it! I’m not a troll.


Me learning life lessons

Sometimes I’ve truly got to accept and engage the bad guy in me to engage the good guy in me, you know what I mean? I’m sure we’ve all been in that grey area morally (if you accept that’s a thing). We humans are straightforward creatures or at least we’d like to think that we’re straightforward but I’m not too sure that’s the case. It’s time for me to post about questionable things that I’ve learned at work and this time, I want to talk about the value of lying.

My job has taught to know better than being truthful at all times because people see that as ‘bad customer service’ (I’m not lying, I’ve experienced someone calling my customer service bad for telling the truth and I’ve had someone call me useless for it). You know the saying ‘you can’t handle the truth!’ It’s really true; people don’t like it when you tell them the truth to whatever question they might have because it doesn’t fall in line with what they want to hear. I work under (but not for) National Rail (if I haven’t already mentioned this) which means that I deal with passengers who are prone to the most bull of shit and not only that, it happens regularly (weekly, without fail). I come across loads of questions such as ‘why are the trains delayed?’, ‘how long is the train going to take to get here?’, ‘what’s wrong with the trains? Your company is terrible’ (even though it’s NOT my company, I don’t work for them) and a strong fan favourite question ‘WHY ARE THE TRAINS DELAYED!?’

Me when I get questions

In all honesty I don’t know why people come up to me asking these questions, some of them border on stupid but I’m not allowed to say that the questions I get are stupid outside of the internet. I’m not the oracle, I don’t know the answers to the questions, the train will get to the station when it does because that’s how delays work. I don’t get told anything anyway so I find out about delays when passengers do… JUST LIKE MOST WORKERS AT THE STATION, except the manager and supervisor. Personally, I don’t understand why passengers ask because it doesn’t do much for them finding out why the train is delayed. They can always tell their manager why they’re late but they’re still going to get blasted for it (because employers have no souls) but other than that it’s a pretty useless thing to do because they’re not going to vent to the members of the train crew (since that’s what I’m there for), knowing the reason for the delay won’t make the train speed up and it’s not improving anyone’s quality of life either.

I’ve gone off topic because I’m ranting a little. What I’m saying here is that when I am genuine, everyone gets pissed off. It usually ends up in the passenger making some comment about the company that I don’t work for as if I’m meant to challenge them to a fight for talking about the company that I’m not attached to. You can get a lot of stress just for suggesting an alternative route, in my case many passengers have seen through my bullshit and they know that I have the power to communicate with trains and tracks because I’m ALWAYS sending out the specific instruction “be delayed.” Sometimes my resolve as a customer service guy is really tested because people want to ask follow ups that mean nothing (man, I’ve got stories about people doing bullshit to make me annoyed at work).

Situations like this are why I’ve learned to lie more, it actually keeps everybody happy! I don’t only lie about delays on trains, I lie about how I feel so it seems like I’m sympathising. Whenever I tell people nonsense, they can’t differentiate because national rail offers such a wide variety of it, and people will always think it’s genuine for some reason. Telling lies has usually resulted in me receiving less stress on the job and people thinking that I’ve gone through the same shit when in reality, the time that I finish work means that all the delays are sorted. Let me tell you what lying has earned me, a cheeky conversation with one of the most valued prizes in the industry which is a customer admitting that it’s not my fault, another prize which is a thank you and the best prize of all, peace of mind.

Let’s be clear here, I’m not telling anyone who reads this to lie often because that’s too much effort (and it’s wrong). In fact if this post influences you, even a little to lie on the job, I take no responsibility because we all know that what you’ve read is me telling how I ignore customer service because I care about myself more. I know that from reading this, you won’t actually take this on board but I’m taking no chances.



Personally, I just want to win in life, in fact I’m sure that everybody wants to win in life. I’m not going to go into what winning means for everybody because it’s subjective and I don’t have the answers. For me, winning means being where you want to be in life and constantly adding more W’s to your name but the thing is that it’s not easy to get to such a point. There are a lot of obstacles in life that will have so many effects on you, for me I have a job that I’m not particularly fond of and my money disappears quickly because of random commitments and I don’t even have it the worst out of all the people that I know. There are also random daily events that will lead to things unfolding that you never expected to see. One thing I’ll say is this, despite all of the shit that life throws at you, there can always be something to motivate you and help you continue on your way to winning.

I ask a lot of questions on this blog about achieving what you want from life or sometimes I just talk about it and it’s because I see a lot of people who are living proof of the things I want to see. One example that I’m going to give to you is Diddy, this guy is a living legend in my opinion. He got to be around The Notorious B.I.G, a musical great and that doesn’t even scratch the surface for me. The truth is that he just makes winning look easy, probably because he just doesn’t give a fuck. Diddy is a guy who definitely enjoys his money and lifestyle and when he isn’t… Actually lets be honest, he’s probably always enjoying his money and lifestyle which is why I’m aware that he’s always winning. Don’t believe me? Tell me who else in this world goes to a party in a car and leaves in a yacht (A FUCKING YACHT!) and who else in this world stops sex so that they can call their personal chef to serve them snacks. Diddy is a guy who clearly makes sure that he gets the most out of life.

I said earlier in this post that winning isn’t easy which I think is true, it’s probably one of the most frustrating things to do but I feel that we can agree that it’s very worth it. Everybody has the ability to channel their inner winner and disturb the sleep of a chef so that you can eat when you get hungry during sexy time. As hard as things will get, I think that there’s no reason to stop going after something when you know you want it.

In hindsight

Me contemplating life (when I have my facial hair)

Not everything is for everyone and I’m happy that I’m learning this, it would have been better if I learned this earlier in life but at the end of the day, life is just a huge learning experience. The other day, I was thinking about a job that I didn’t get and it should have been depressing but it really wasn’t. In hindsight, I’m happy that I got rejected by the company and I’m seriously writing this.

If I had been employed by said company, I’d be working more hours, making more money, possibly having a better sleep pattern and one warning away from being fired. The reason that I believe the last part of that sentence is because the company is based in an area which is only served by one train that runs twice an hour (because fuck a metro train system), not to mention this train frequently gets cancelled. In other words, my employers would get really pissed with me despite doing my best to be on time because employers have no souls (and nobody is telling me otherwise).

Life is so shit when things don’t go your way, especially if you feel that you’ve worked hard enough for a break and I’m sure everybody reading knows this. I’ve had so many times where I’ve felt disappointed in myself for not doing what I felt should have been piloting my own life because things didn’t pan out the way that I wanted. The thing is, whatever happens, happens for a reason and it can work to your benefit. Cheesy lessons like letting go of things and looking forward whilst enjoying yourself are some of the wisest things that can be spread and they’ve definitely been some of the best things I’ve heard in my life. The amount of value that words like these hold can’t ever be underestimated.

Me when I used to hear things like ‘Let it go’

Hindsight can be really helpful (probably not as helpful as foresight) for your mind. It makes it clear that things will make their way to you in due time (not like destiny because I don’t believe in that).