Sometimes I’ve truly got to accept and engage the bad guy in me to engage the good guy in me, you know what I mean? I’m sure we’ve all been in that grey area morally (if you accept that’s a thing). We humans are straightforward creatures or at least we’d like to think that we’re straightforward but I’m not too sure that’s the case. It’s time for me to post about questionable things that I’ve learned at work and this time, I want to talk about the value of lying.
My job has taught to know better than being truthful at all times because people see that as ‘bad customer service’ (I’m not lying, I’ve experienced someone calling my customer service bad for telling the truth and I’ve had someone call me useless for it). You know the saying ‘you can’t handle the truth!’ It’s really true; people don’t like it when you tell them the truth to whatever question they might have because it doesn’t fall in line with what they want to hear. I work under (but not for) National Rail (if I haven’t already mentioned this) which means that I deal with passengers who are prone to the most bull of shit and not only that, it happens regularly (weekly, without fail). I come across loads of questions such as ‘why are the trains delayed?’, ‘how long is the train going to take to get here?’, ‘what’s wrong with the trains? Your company is terrible’ (even though it’s NOT my company, I don’t work for them) and a strong fan favourite question ‘WHY ARE THE TRAINS DELAYED!?’
In all honesty I don’t know why people come up to me asking these questions, some of them border on stupid but I’m not allowed to say that the questions I get are stupid outside of the internet. I’m not the oracle, I don’t know the answers to the questions, the train will get to the station when it does because that’s how delays work. I don’t get told anything anyway so I find out about delays when passengers do… JUST LIKE MOST WORKERS AT THE STATION, except the manager and supervisor. Personally, I don’t understand why passengers ask because it doesn’t do much for them finding out why the train is delayed. They can always tell their manager why they’re late but they’re still going to get blasted for it (because employers have no souls) but other than that it’s a pretty useless thing to do because they’re not going to vent to the members of the train crew (since that’s what I’m there for), knowing the reason for the delay won’t make the train speed up and it’s not improving anyone’s quality of life either.
I’ve gone off topic because I’m ranting a little. What I’m saying here is that when I am genuine, everyone gets pissed off. It usually ends up in the passenger making some comment about the company that I don’t work for as if I’m meant to challenge them to a fight for talking about the company that I’m not attached to. You can get a lot of stress just for suggesting an alternative route, in my case many passengers have seen through my bullshit and they know that I have the power to communicate with trains and tracks because I’m ALWAYS sending out the specific instruction “be delayed.” Sometimes my resolve as a customer service guy is really tested because people want to ask follow ups that mean nothing (man, I’ve got stories about people doing bullshit to make me annoyed at work).
Situations like this are why I’ve learned to lie more, it actually keeps everybody happy! I don’t only lie about delays on trains, I lie about how I feel so it seems like I’m sympathising. Whenever I tell people nonsense, they can’t differentiate because national rail offers such a wide variety of it, and people will always think it’s genuine for some reason. Telling lies has usually resulted in me receiving less stress on the job and people thinking that I’ve gone through the same shit when in reality, the time that I finish work means that all the delays are sorted. Let me tell you what lying has earned me, a cheeky conversation with one of the most valued prizes in the industry which is a customer admitting that it’s not my fault, another prize which is a thank you and the best prize of all, peace of mind.
Let’s be clear here, I’m not telling anyone who reads this to lie often because that’s too much effort (and it’s wrong). In fact if this post influences you, even a little to lie on the job, I take no responsibility because we all know that what you’ve read is me telling how I ignore customer service because I care about myself more. I know that from reading this, you won’t actually take this on board but I’m taking no chances.