Living with kind of hatred…


Ever been in a situation where look around and you realise that you just have so much kind of hatred for everything around you? I’ve been going through this and in a weird way I’m grateful because it’s slowly teaching me what is for me and what isn’t. If I’m completely honest, it’s almost as if the kind of hatred has naturally taken over; I never felt it creeping up or anything, just one day I went to work and looked at my surroundings only to realise that I don’t care for it at all. Maybe don’t care isn’t the right way to explain it because I’m a little bothered and that’s because I’m bored.

I feel like the opposite of Future because I have to put a (metaphorical) mask on. The weirdest thing in all of this is that what I’m talking about may seem really negative but I promise it’s not. I just like the feelings and the situations that give us time to reflect on what’s happening around us because I feel that in those moments we can think of a 1000 things that we’d rather be doing and at least one of those 1000 things is something that we can do and go after.

I wouldn’t exactly wish for anybody to be in a situation where they’re bored or unhappy but I do feel like those feelings in a working environment are a type of pressure. When you realise that you don’t want to be in the situation that you’re in, there’s always a choice which is either to crumble under the self inflicted pressure and let life take you wherever it pleases, or not to crumble under it and find something else to give yourself more of a purpose. It’s a shame things are like that (or I could just be rationalising things wrong) because people aren’t inclined to care about your feelings or your situation given that they’ve got their own battles to fight.

When I’m in this kind of mood, it makes me realise why people really appreciate drinking after work and weekends. It’s a well deserved rest, not just from the pressures of work but from yourself in a way.

Deep Jeffrey is back!

One thing that I haven’t out and out stated is that when it comes down to it, you’ll realise that there’s always more to be achieved. It’s great to sit down and reflect on where you are but no matter what you’ve achieved, you’re capable of doing more and I reckon that having negative feelings might be a way of telling yourself that you need to try. It makes wonder how I’d feel if I looked at the situation that I’m and I felt as if everything was ok.


Personal thoughts on controversy


Whenever I’m on Twitter and I see people getting into an uproar over something really controversial, sometimes I wonder about it. I used to be that guy who would get angry at that stuff but I’d also stay interested and keep tabs on it because I secretly enjoyed it, like a lot of people (I assume) I’m a hypocrite. As time has moved on, I’ve come to terms with controversial shit and for the most part I have to admit that I like it.

I feel like we all enjoy a little bit of controversy, after all it does make life a little more interesting and it gives us tales to tell to others if it’s not already the subject of conversation. Not all controversial people/events/viewpoints are to be enjoyed, some of them cause anger and it’s completely justified. If I’m honest when I look at stuff that causes a lot of arguments especially with regards to social media, I literally sit back (with my metaphorical popcorn) and watch everything unfold. It brings a lot questions to mind with some of my main ones being: what was going through this person’s head? And why do people care so much, knowing that in a few days they’ll be over it looking for some new controversy to absorb?

Controversy has an immediate impact, it’s just the way that it is. I think it’s a good thing, sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it gives me ideas for blog posts or it sometimes just gives me something to digest for a couple of hours. With social media having its take on things, you can see all kind of viewpoints and it can and will breed new controversies. I think this is part of why I enjoy it, because I’ll always have some kind of entertainment from it and when I don’t, it can help me to have some really deep thoughts.

Think of some really controversial people that you know/have heard of, how do you feel about them? When they come up, do you have something to say?

Would I say that controversy is necessary? No, absolutely not, it’s like ice cream or fast food, it tastes good, it’s not really good for you but you enjoy it whilst some people don’t because they’re super healthy and want to avoid it completely, in the same way that some people try to steer away from that stuff. To be honest, that kind of stuff is mostly (if not fully) destructive, but then again as humans, one thing I’ve noticed is that we can’t help but pay attention to things that are negative.

I don’t think that there’s a deeper meaning to controversy, however I’d be wrong in saying that it can’t be used to the advantage of people. Kanye West and Donald Trump are two examples that come to mind, maybe when I figure out the secret, you might see me with some coverage (or not).

Most important life lesson

What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned during life? Everybody knows that life is about learning as well as other things and in a way, I feel like what we learn is understated. If there’s one thing that I’ve seen, it’s that people love to give out life advice, especially on social media (which is weird because I’m willing to bet my whole bank account that a fair number of people aren’t really qualified to be giving out lessons). I’ve said more than a few times on this blog that I have a lot to learn, as well as not being the person that I feel I could be which is why I can’t answer the question that I’m asking; at the same time, I want to know what anybody reading this would say is their most important life lesson (I reckon it could be something that impacts me as well).

Part of me feels that I should know that there can’t be one most important lesson, given the amount of life changing experiences that we go through on a yearly basis. We’re always picking up valuable information and what might seem important today won’t be so profoundly important tomorrow. If I’m honest, I have a lot of thoughts and questions that stem from this one question but that’s not the point. Let me know what you think is the most important lesson you’ve learnt or generally your thoughts on the subject.

A few words

Just a very short post but it’s been in my head for a while. I want to wish anybody reading this success in any area of life that you feel it’s needed. On certain days I just stare blankly into space because I’m not allowed to do much else and I constantly find myself asking if this is what I want for my life. I’m grateful for the position that I’m in now but I don’t believe that it’s enough and I know that there are many who feel the same way. It might not be much but if my words help then I’m happy.

Acting Black…

Having seen the ‘cash me ousside girl’ become famous for disrespecting her mum on live television and the reaction to it, I’ve slowly become more annoyed because there are some people who keep saying that she’s famous for ‘acting Black.’ This annoys me a lot, especially considering that I’m Black and I can tell you that in Black households children are not brought up to disrespect their parents, let alone do it publicly.

Just like any other race, respect is huge amongst Black people. You’ll see that children raised in African households usually tend to refer to their elders as uncle and auntie as a sign of respect, given that as a child it’s disrespectful to address an adult by their first name and this carries on into adulthood. I’ve noticed that there’s a conception that all Black people seem to carry an attitude (especially women) or are threatening in some kind of way and I don’t know where it comes from. The truth is that whatever negativity is feared in Black people should be feared in all other races as well because we’re not the only ones capable of harm.

What does ‘acting Black’ even mean? How do you act a race? Not all Black people are the same, we may share the same range of tones that form our skin colour but there are so many different cultures and traditions when it comes to Black people. There’s no way that people can’t notice this, people can’t be that ignorant. For some reason trash like behaviour is equated with being Black and I don’t know if it’s because of television but if it is then you need to realise that it’s DRAMATISED. Think about some of the prejudices that there are towards Black people and the Black people that you know, can you honestly tell me that they act in a way that justifies them?

I think what’s worse is that I’ve never seen people talk about acting White, acting Hispanic or acting Asian so why is this exception made for Black people. I’m sure that every race has their problems and their own battles that they fight every day, but I won’t act as if there isn’t a special negative emphasis placed on those who are Black. For every Black person who has managed to make a successful business, become a journalist, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher or anything else positive, did they just stop ‘acting Black?’ It seriously confuses me how being sensible is seen as a quality that Black people can’t possess, that when people become rappers and talk about spending stupid amounts of money and having sex with infinite women, or when people are loud annoying that is what’s expected of us.

The ‘cash me ousside girl’ might be influenced by shows like Love and Hip-Hop whatever edition and Real housewives of wherever but those are actors who do what they have to (which includes acting like a stereotype), to get people to watch their shows (which are shit by the way). I know that people wouldn’t use the Kardashian’s or teenagers like Dylan Roof as the basis for judging White people because that shit would be unfair and extremely offensive and it should be the same for Black people.

Money, money, money


There’s something that’s bothered me for a little while, money. Money is great and I’m sure I’ve wrote blog posts about how I want to earn a lot of it but it still bothers me. I can’t put my finger on it but if I had to give the closest answer, I’d say that it’s the portrayal. Have you ever had a conversation with someone or seen someone who’s made it clear that their redeeming feature is the amount of money that they’ve got?

So what? Someone makes a lot of money and they brag about it, where do we go from there? Losing money is just as much of a reality as making it so if somebody loses money does that mean that their value goes down? Chances are that what a person does to make money is much more of a redeeming feature than the amount that’s been made. If I’m being honest, the moment that you’re making money, it becomes something that you can mention no matter how much you make, making more of it doesn’t make one person better than another.

The whole thing of people saying things like ‘yeah but I make X amount of money’ or ‘I make more money than you’ makes me cringe. When I see videos of rappers playing with their money or showing it off, it looks fucking corny and it makes me wonder if that’s all that they’ve got. Money is an important part of life because it’s practically impossible to live without it but it’s a big problem if you’re letting it define you. People who get bigheaded over the amount of money they have are in the same league as those who boast about the size of their package, the amount of sex they’ve had and other pathetic things like that.

My reaction to boasters


I’ve never been one for dick measuring contests, which is probably why I don’t take to it when people brag about their possessions or just brag in general. Money isn’t going to follow you when you die, it doesn’t stop people from thinking about you in a certain way (if their view of you suddenly becomes positive then it’s because they’re extremely fake), it just allows you to afford more shit; that can’t be the best that people have to offer can it? It makes me wonder what these people think of themselves on a personal level if their defence mechanism is their money.

Everybody is different, there’s possibly something involved in talking about the amount of money that you have that could be appealing which I don’t see because I’m broke as a bitch. I feel that money shouldn’t be the end result to be honest, once you’re making money there’s a lot that you can do with it that’s actually useful but bragging isn’t one of those things. I guess this is a part of life, it’s not a part of life that makes much sense to me but then again a lot of things in life don’t make much sense to me.

Kind of music feels

I don’t know if I’d say that this song gives me feels but I had to post it. Whenever I talk about this song, my brother is the only person in the world that remembers it exists but everybody else looks at me like I’m on crack. The song I’m talking about is ‘Glory Days’ by Just Jack (see what I did there?), I don’t know why this song is so obscure, maybe it isn’t and I’m around the wrong people which is something that I’m willing to consider.

Sometimes this song comes into my head and I feel that it’s easy on the ears so enjoy.

Favourite anime moments 2


Last time that I wrote about anime moments, I talked about Rock Lee’s fight with Gaara being a standout moment for me and now I think about it, maybe that’s what I should be writing about today. I say this because one moment came to my head and I feel like I’ve disrespected my favourite anime series by not starting the series of posts of with this.

Anybody who’s watched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood knows what it’s about and if you haven’t then go and look at a synopsis on Wikipedia, I’ll even give you the link. Moving on, one of my favourite moments from FMAB is the scene where Alphonse sacrifices his body so that Edward can get his arm back. This scene is so emotional because there’s a lot to consider; Alphonse sacrifices himself for the greater good as you’d expect from a hero but so much more is added to it because Edward sacrificed his arm to put Alphonse in a metal body otherwise he would have lost his brother for good. It seems like the sacrifice is made for nothing when Edward kind of ends up back at square one but at least he’s got someone to take his anger out on.

The music really gets you in your feels as well because it’s so depressing, not to mention Edward’s background. I don’t know how I would have felt if this was how the story ended, because there are a lot of things that I like about the characters in FMAB that I don’t really see of other characters in the same genre. For a story that I feel really played up its emotional moments, I’ve got to say that this really hit the nail on the head.

Do things your way!


It’s been a couple of years since I started this blog but the truth is this isn’t my first blog, it’s actually my third and by far my most successful. I’ve been thinking about it for a little while and I’m grateful for how this blog has turned out, the comments on my posts, the views and the general interaction because let’s be honest what’s a post if it can’t spark a few thoughts? I think I’ve figured out why my blog is doing better which leads me to the point of this post. I’m doing things the way that I want to do them.

The first blog I wrote, I gave up on after a few months because it was too ‘professional’ for lack of a better word. I could never really write my thoughts on things because I was trying to be career oriented and it was meant to help guide me on a path that I became disillusioned with by the time that I was in my last year of university. It didn’t have any creativity whatsoever and it almost felt like a chore, which is a huge red flag when you’re managing your own stuff. My second blog could have been good but I ended up taking some EXTREMELY SHIT advice and begun to write in a pattern, what’s worse is that I took advice from someone that I know never had anything useful to say (can’t even blame him that much, it’s my fault for being so silly). The thing about doing a blog like that means that it’s not really your blog, it’s someone else’s but you do the work and I’m not a fan of unsolicited opinions.

I feel like people should march to the beat of their own drums in life, compromise is needed at times but most of the time you’ve got to do right by you. I don’t know what happiness stems from but I think that people playing by their own rules is a big part of it. Other than your parents, nobody should be telling you how to be yourself and how to do things that you want to do. Speaking from experience, it gets to the point where the fun gets sucked out of your passion and I strongly believe nobody deserves to become disillusioned with their passion on the account of other people who might not even understand what you’re trying to achieve.

I could say some shit like life’s too short but I know for a fact that anyone who reads this is already aware of it. For the past few years of my life, I’ve been thinking about successful people and the more that I study them, the more that I see that they do different things but they do these things because they want to. This to me is part of the very essence, if not the very essence of doing things your own way. Deep down, I feel like people have the answers to very questions that run through their heads concerning what they can do to better their quality of life and I’m not sure what stops us from trusting our gut instincts or following up on those really good ideas that come into our heads but I could say that by doing that, it’s like we’re denying ourselves.

This blog doesn’t have a focus, if you read it then you’ll see that it’s just me rambling about random shit that interests me but somehow the blog has grown stronger every year and I feel like I can credit some of that success to writing what I want. I know that there’s always the possibility that I sound way too idealistic, which makes sense given how much I have yet to experience in this life but just judging from what I’ve been through and what I’ve seen this is a belief that will continue to strengthen in my head.

Even if you don’t agree with this, I hope that anyone reading this will find a way to do things in a way that makes them happy.