Music thoughts

(Really didn’t know what to title which is why I have a title with no effort put in. If you have any suggestions, I’m open)

As I’ve grown my music tastes have developed (or just straight up changed), I sometimes go through cycles when listening to music but there always happens to be one specific thing that I’m interested in. For a long time that was hip-hop of any kind, in fact I think to an extent I’d be able to say that it still is (as my song of the week posts will tell you) but I’m more invested in stuff that is coming out of the UK which brings me (closer) to my observation.

The UK has a lot of gems, which could be said about a lot of countries but when it comes down to music that I’ve heard from here, I can very clearly hear punchlines, wordplay, occasional lyricism but what I fail to see often is a story. At this point in time when it comes to the urban scene in the UK, two types of music are really popular: grime (which is a genre of its own! Not every song that has rap in it is grime which people need to understand) and drill. I’m not a huge grime fan if I’m honest, whenever I’ve listened to that genre it’s been for flows before anything else and I’m not a huge drill fan either, but given how much drill the UK pumps out, it’s very hard for me not to hear it and the truth is that it all sounds the same.

I like to compare music from the UK to music from the US and when I listen to both of them, I always come to the conclusion that music from the US is much further ahead. There are many reasons for this but one of the biggest things for me are the stories, (this is my observation) music from the UK seems to have a serious lack of concepts, if you look through music from the UK you’ll quickly come to realise that a lot of music videos have people standing outside an apartment and rapping, sometimes they’re different and they involve people driving in a car but it will be some braggadocio shit.

Not to say that this stuff doesn’t come out of the US but even when they’re doing that, the videos seem to have more thought pumped into them. Getting back to my point, I’ve always found it weird that in the UK more people don’t try to add a story to their songs given the talent that is here. It probably isn’t something that matters much given the strides that music from the UK has made in recent years, the thing is that I can’t help but admit that I love a good story, I feel that it shows a level of versatility that pure lyricism can’t do because it’s the rapper using their words to create emotion and put a picture in your head (a picture that you have some freedom to interpret). There’s no doubt that stories add a lot to a genre as well, looking at someone like Eminem in his early days, I’m sure people thought that he was a silly horrorcore rapper but I can name plenty of songs where he had stories (As the World Turns has two stories and Guilty Conscience has three) which were well told; as silly as horrorcore is, there’s no way that I could say that these songs didn’t add depth to the genre (if those songs weren’t hip-hop).

Some rappers do have concepts to their songs but they’re far too underappreciated. I can’t talk about the effect that this has had on the UK on a wide scale but personally it is something that has bothered me for a while; the UK is still continuing on its path so I can confidently say that it’s too early to be worried about what the scene possesses and what it doesn’t but I think it would go a long way to closing the gap in quality between both countries.

A song from the UK with a story

Favourite anime moments

I’ve asked so many questions about anime, so I might as well ask another one. What’s your favourite anime moment? I have to admit that I’ve got many so this kind of post will be continuous and if you’ve got many then I’d like to see them (I’m always looking for new anime to watch).

One anime moment that immediately comes to mind for me is Rock Lee vs. Gaara in Naruto, to this day I still get excited watching that fight. When Lee was first introduced, he faced off against Sasuke and I didn’t expect him to win because he looked like a gag character but when he won, he made things interesting given that it was obvious that he hadn’t shown his full potential and he admitted that there was someone stronger than him.

In my opinion Rock Lee vs. Gaara was easily the best match of the chuunin exams (even better than Shikamaru’s match with Kin Tsuchi), during this match, Lee showed more of his potential and I don’t think I’d seen so much action in Naruto up until that point, in fact the show had been kind of emotional (not to say that the end of this fight wasn’t emotional) so seeing that change really caught my attention and the music could have gotten my blood pumping if I was more excitable.

I love seeing fights in anime (that’s probably part of why I love watching it) and this will forever stand out as a memorable one.

Learning during education…

For a while now (I feel like I’ve started a few of my posts like this) I’ve had this thought about school and education, it’s definitely not revolutionary in any sense but I’ve not seen people say this as much they could. I don’t think I learnt anything in school! OK I’m exaggerating, I did learn some stuff in school but I feel that what I took out of school wasn’t what I was supposed to take out of it. I’m not trying to be deep here or anything (I feel like I say this on a few of my posts too) but hear (or read) me out.

Me being artsy
Does this really look like a guy who’s trying to be deep?

During education we’re meant to learn a lot of things that will help us in the future, we all know that education is key! I assume that’s why we study so many subjects like Maths, English, Science, Religious Studies and even those gimmick ones like History. So much information that we’re loaded with, so much knowledge that we gain, so many options for us in the future and it sounds so good when you’ve got knowledge of a subject if you see it as a career path until you realise that the information isn’t very useful.

From my experience of things, what is learnt in Primary School just about carries over to Secondary School, the teachings from Secondary School just about carry over into Sixth Form/College and those teachings don’t even carry over into University. So what the fuck is going on?! I can’t really answer that question, it will forever be a conundrum to me knowing that you can study journalism and the law behind it only to write that Kylie Jenner decided to go to the beach or some stupid shit along those lines (some people casually break the code of ethics and the publications don’t care).

Realising that what you learnt in education isn’t as useful as you thought it would be

There are things that are learnt in school, school is a foundation for something else which I believe is the way that we function. This is something that we keep learning over the course of life but the development is so rapid during school. Socialisation is the biggest lesson that comes to mind, being in education is where you really learn how to make friends, talk to the opposite gender and how to talk to people in general as well as keeping in contact. I feel like this is what we really take out of education, the lessons learnt from the subjects studied will be forgotten but you don’t forget how to interact because it’s such a necessary tool in life and you never know what it will make the difference with.

There are so many situations that really test your common sense; in school there are many different types of people, some are serious and some aren’t and you’re able to gauge which people you should be allowing to really influence you. I can’t say that I did too well in the socialisation aspect of school, I had my friends but I was very poor keeping in contact, something which I’m still shit with today (I have good set of friends who check up on me to make sure that I’m not dead) but I will say that I learnt what and what not to say (something that I can’t say for a lot of people that I went to school with). Generally being able to compose yourself is another situation in school that is picked up given that the alpha male attitude comes into play and some people like to bully others.

Human interaction is what I think the main lesson of school is, obviously we can’t spend six and a half hours talking because boredom will kick in but for me I do think that there is more to gain out of an hour and half of talking than five hours of the other stuff.

A thought (rambling possibly)

This may (will) be me just doing some rambling if I’m honest with you but I can say that I appreciate you reading this rambling. In my last post, I wrote about dreams and why people don’t like to talk about them, then I started thinking about it during the night, especially my time doing work experience which helped me to think of this post. I’m somebody that gives a fair amount of thought to the future, I don’t know what’s going to happen in it, only that the decisions that I make in the present will shape it some way, I also feel that I’m at a point in my life where I can get away with making mistakes which may be part of why I think about following dreams (the drugs may have had an effect too).

The drugs

I regularly think about people who have made a lot out of very little and that always serves as a reminder that a lot of things (if not anything) are possible. Some people honestly live a lifestyle where they wake up and are already making a lot of money and they know that they don’t have to do much during the day because they’re reaping the rewards from risks that were taken at an earlier point in life and this is the point that I want to get to. Everybody is different, some people want to work in an office, others want to drive but as long as it’s making you happy that’s the main point.

Last year around this time, I started doing some work experience which lasted eight weeks; before I started my work experience, part of me thought that I wouldn’t mind working in that kind of environment because I got to sit down all day at a computer, check social media and write stuff up on Microsoft Word but it didn’t take very long before I started feeling as if I was wasting my time. I’d look out of the window midday truly believing that I could be doing something better with my time. I also paid attention to the kind of conversations that the people around me were having and it really seemed as if they didn’t enjoy what they were doing, they were always happy to talk about getting an extra half hour in bed or having an extra day off but seemed to quickly lose energy when actually working.

Me looking at the computer screen blankly

The one thing that I heard so often was ‘you just get used to it’ and it wasn’t only from work, it was from family as well. There was never anything said about it enjoying it, just accepting that life can get like this and whatever boundary it sets for you, you have to make the most out of. I never felt as if I could connect to that way of thinking, people looked so apathetic towards life and tired (after being in such a situation for so long I can only imagine how it affects the confidence required to quit and start afresh on something else) and I feel that it was a result of that.

I feel that a lot of things that we do in life are done because we’re told to do them and when I see what it can lead to, it scares me. Having to hear conversations about people being in debt (not to say that shit won’t happen if you follow your dreams), feeling as if there’s a time limit for you to do things even though it really is a matter of perspective as well as other things really doesn’t sit well with me deep down and they never will. It doesn’t sit well with me because whilst it’s accepted in the present, I feel like it will lead to a lot of regret, and it’s very hard to recover from that; knowing my own experience with regret which saw me sat still at times asking myself why shit went wrong over something which was relatively minor has already served as a warning to me not to actively add to that list.

Me in regret mode

I know that not everybody gets their dream scenario, if they did then I doubt that I’d be having these kind of thoughts. I still reckon that trying is better than having a thought with great potential and leaving it because there’s always something to be learned from these decisions. I’ve heard that if you try to do something with yourself and you fail then you’ve wasted time but I honestly do believe that you’ll be further ahead in terms of achieving your goals and you’ll never go back to square one. Everybody is different so it’s up to them how they do things but for myself, given the situation that I’m in now, how I view 9-5 jobs and my work experience I feel as if I’ve  got to try and make something big for myself.

Achieving goals…


During my time in university, I kind of dabbled in the drugs and a lot of stuff happened especially with my mindset. It became very positive which is something that I needed and I feel like I was on a wave that most 19 year olds were on at the time, which was to discover a passion and follow your dreams. I wouldn’t say that the drugs were the reason that I started doing so but they definitely played a role in it.

The drugs

Despite everything I’ve said in my first paragraph, that isn’t really the point of this post (I’m sorry that I made you read that). These days, I’m still trying to be positive which can be hard to do but if there’s one thing that I’ve kept positive on without wavering, it’s following your dreams and trying to achieve what you set out for yourself. No matter how big or small, I feel that people owe it to themselves to at least try and achieve something that they’ve wanted because living a life of regret doesn’t do any favours for anyone.

One thing that I’ve found is that people don’t really seem to agree with it. Obviously people are entitled to their opinion so I understand that they might think my thoughts on this are silly, but I still find it weird that people are willing to say fuck that and be “realistic” whatever that means. Usually when I talk to people about doing well and trying to make their dream lifestyle a reality, they just look at me like I need to grow up, or they’ll entertain me but I can see in their face/reaction that they want me to stop talking about it.

When people hear me start talking about goals

Some people don’t know what they want to do with their lives and it’s not something that’s easy to figure out but even just thinking about the future in such a way can cause people to switch off and I’ve always wondered why? The people that I’ve met seem very reluctant to talk about it as if it’s been programmed into them but they don’t really seem to be too thrilled with what’s going on in their lives at the moment (unless that’s the facade that they’re putting on). Not everybody gets to achieve their life goals but there are factors which contribute to that. What I see almost seems like a case of people giving up before they’ve even tried.

Once again I ask, why don’t people like to talk about goals?

It’s not by force that people have to talk about their goals or entertain me when I’m trying to have that kind of conversation but I honestly can’t get over the amount of people who don’t really care to talk about it. I guess talking about it doesn’t bring you any closer to achieving it but I’ll say this, those who I know that don’t like to talk about it have rushed into something else that is perceived as good (because it makes decent money) but when I ask them further about it, they just say that it’s something to do and they have a bit of experience but there’s little to no conviction in the way that say it.

Life is puzzling as well as challenging and as I’ve said before following your goals isn’t easy, in fact it has its own puzzles and challenges; with that being said I don’t think it’s scary or anything to turn your nose up at but that’s just my opinion. Maybe the drugs gave me an extremely romanticised view of achieving goals because I like to think about the end and I usually take a we’ll get there when we get there approach towards the hard work aspect. I still have a lot to go through in life so it’s possible that my mentality will change but hopefully I become more set in my ways.

What do you reckon on people not wanting/liking to talk about goals, could you give me some insight?

Not being able to write (what a fuckery)

Me not being able to write

I have to admit, having a blog and not knowing what to write is a special type of fuckery! I’ve been sitting (at home and work) for a couple of days wondering what to write and don’t get me wrong I’ve had ideas but they seem forced. If there’s one thing that I know about maintaining a blog, it’s not to write for the sake writing but then what about those precious views, how will they come? Even generally, contributing to a blog is such a great feeling so it’s really shit when I don’t know what to write especially when there’s no intention of taking a break.

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My potential views to my blog

I always had questions to ask when I started and it’s not that I found the answer to them, but as I’ve grown older I’ve just started asking less. I’ve never really been one to talk about personal shit on a regular basis either (trust me, you don’t really want to know about my mindset over the past year). Blog segments are good but I’ve found that I enjoy reading people posting things every week rather than doing it myself and to be honest it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be (then again, so is maintaining a blog in general). It’s crazy, as I write this I’m thinking of new blog posts (which will probably go away in a few hours). Can you see what I mean about this being a fuckery?

I reckon this is weird to me because it’s the first time that I’ve gone through such a phase and the blogs that I follow always write with consistency which is key for anything good (or maybe it’s because I catch up with posts like once every six days). The weirdest part of this, is the fact that not blogging hasn’t exactly freed up time for me to do anything else (maybe it has but I find it would be inappropriate to talk about those things here). Getting caught up in a blog is so easy to do, I don’t know if this makes much sense but for me it’s like I forget that the blog is mine and whilst I think that there’s a greater purpose for this blog, the truth is that I’ve got to allow it to naturally develop whether I’m writing or not.

I don’t even know what to say here, having read back what I’ve just wrote. I’m just waffling (even more so than usual) so I’m going to stop. To be honest this is just what I’ve been thinking in the time that I haven’t blogged but it begs an interesting question; what do you do when you feel you can’t write?