I saw someone make a bold statement on Twitter not too long ago which made me think whoa! Truth be told, it made me think more than just that but I won’t get too into the specifics of it. Anyway, since I saw the statement and I like asking questions, I thought I might as well throw this question out to the good people of wordpress.
If you had a friend that was cheating on their partner would you tell their partner? Personally I wouldn’t. I just couldn’t find it in myself to do that, although that doesn’t mean to say that I’m happy to watch my friend cheat, I can’t let that slide either. For me, loyalty is important in a friendship, I can’t be going behind my friend’s back to tell their partner of what’s happening (unless the partner is also my friend). Everybody is different but my assumption is that if you were to go your friend’s partner to tell them that your friend had been cheating, it would mean that you don’t really hold the friendship in such a high regard or you’re after their partner.
It’s something that I imagine like this; you’ve been friends with somebody for a number of years, so you two have been through some rough shit, shared secrets and all sorts. What I’m saying here is that a bond has developed and the bond must mean something. If you’re willing to throw that away rather than looking an alternative then the bond has to be questioned.
I’d tell my friend that they need to fix up and get their shit together. In this kind of situation, I reckon it’s always important to talk to your friend and let them know that they’re fucking up or give them the stern look of disapproval whenever they tell you about their antics. When I see stuff like that, I’m usually the guy who hopes that if things don’t change then the partner will wise up at some point and leave (or that my friend gets caught in the act). We all know that cheating isn’t good and it might even be arguable that you shouldn’t be friends with people who do that (I wouldn’t argue that though), I feel that some people don’t really know how to weigh up pros and cons which is why they find themselves doing that and it’s also why people need other people in their lives to set them straight.
If I was in a position where I was being cheated on and my partner’s friend told me, I’d be surprised. I’d definitely owe that person one but generally in that situation I don’t expect loyalty which I feel is fair to say.
Anyway, what would be your response in this situation?