Quick thoughts on Hellsing

Hellsing… A very popular series (or so I’ve read) and because of that I’m not even sure where to start with this post. I guess that I’ll go from the plot since that’s what I usually do in these anime thought posts. Hellsing is about an organisation of soldiers who fight against vampires in order to keep humans safe, one of the main characters happens to be a vampire called Alucard who belongs to hellsing organisation and kills his own kind because… The other main character is Seras Victoria who becomes a vampire when it’s a choice between that or dying (not that it’s important to the story).

So the thing is that this anime is popular (I’m still trying to come to terms with this) and I assume it’s because of the manga, because there is no way that an anime like this can be anime fan favourite. I don’t mean to disrespect the series but the whole thing is just so underwhelming, it starts off very well and the first few episodes are interesting but then it becomes clear that the show doesn’t have a story to follow and so it uses a weekly bad guy formula to keep the show moving along. The anime doesn’t follow the manga too much and as a result the episodes that do follow the manga are much more enjoyable than the ones that don’t; the thing about the anime exclusive episodes is that it seemed as if whoever was responsible for writing them just wrote literally anything and didn’t care how it would fit in with the overall story (which wasn’t smart). By the end of the series, I was left asking questions like who the fuck was incognito and where did he come from? Why was Alucard’s rivalry with Alexander Anderson inconclusive? Why did Seras only care for 5 seconds when Harry Anders died? And those were only a few. In the end the anime decided to give everyone who viewed (and will view) it a middle finger because it went in a exceptionally confusing direction where humans were being given chips that turned them into vampires and it turned out that the organisation responsible for this remained anonymous. (In other words the head writer said “I’m gonna eliminate any chance of this show making sense and make you watch something my dog wrote MUAHAHAHA and there’s nothing you can do about it!”)

In 13 episodes I ended up indifferent to every character in the series because they were all dull; that’s bad given that I found Yoh from Shaman King dull and he still managed to annoy me. I’m not sure what they were going for with the characters but I know that it failed completely. The show tried so hard make Alucard look cool but instead he was just an overpowered character who didn’t contribute much to any situation (even though he’s the main character). Seras seemed to do most of the work in the episodes and somehow she still didn’t develop, I also felt that she wasn’t useful in spite what I just wrote (she didn’t reach Sakura’s level of uselessness though). Incognito was just unacceptable as a main antagonist, he looked the part but he was so generic (if I think about it, I’ll just get angry) and every other character was there pretty much because an anime needs characters.

I did like the colouring (even if Integra Hellsing was grey) and I definitely liked the soundtrack as it was the best thing about the show (the opening theme tune was more interesting than a lot of the episodes to be honest). The soundtrack made a lot of situations easier to digest, in fact it made the show better as a whole. There aren’t many things to praise when it comes to the show which is a shame.

Other thoughts: I’m sure that with each passing episode, Seras’ boobs get bigger. Seriously, I watched the first episode and thought ‘a female character without unnecessarily huge breasts… I can deal with that’ and by the last episode I thought ‘those are a lot bigger than I remember.’ If Integra had no speaking roles I would have spent the first ten episodes thinking that she was a man, this would have been very new to me because I didn’t think masculine looking female characters was a thing. I spent the whole series trying to figure why the dog in the opening credits was relevant and I didn’t find an answers but with that being said, it’s not uncommon for anime openings to do this. Why was Seras’ fight with the genetically modified vampire so anti-climatic and disappointing, just why? I assume that to see all the rage about Hellsing I’ll have to watch Hellsing Ultimate.

Recommendation: Honestly I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone but if I had to guess who this show would appeal to the most, I’d say people who like a lot of violence and dark themes as well as guitars. Anyone who is a fan of gun-toters might enjoy this show, otherwise steer clear.


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