Fucking up

There are those times where you’re fucking up and you know it, you know it very well. You tell yourself that you’re not doing well and at times you don’t even know why; what’s worse is that at the times that you feel you that you know why things aren’t going well, there’s nothing you can do about it. Well there is but it feels impossible.

It’s possible to have people talk to you about how you’re not doing well and they can even explain what they see to you in depth, yet their words won’t have you feeling the way that they’re intended to. It comes to a point that you’ve said ‘I’m fucking up’ so much to yourself that when other people say it, it doesn’t mean anything.  People can theorize but as much as they speculate, they’ll never really know what’s going on, leaving their opinion invalid.

These times are the worst because it honestly feels like you can’t do anything in general, even when you’re going through things that are easily solvable. There’ll always be an answer to every situation yet, these answers will be hidden to you because you spend time doubting yourself and your abilities. It isn’t a desirable situation to be in, in all honesty.

It’s like being a hole and it sucks.

There is a bright side to it though, it forces you to have to make you way out of the hole one way or another and you’ll probably be a better person for it.

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