Some thoughts on success…

It’s tricky

One thing that I think about is how not everybody will make their dreams come true. It’s sad stuff which is why I have to give credit to those who make their dreams come true.  Sometimes, I look at the people who are successful in life that inspire me and I want to tell myself that the next spot at the top is mine but let’s be honest here, there isn’t a guaranteed spot at the top spot me, it’s not even guaranteed that there’s a spot in any light for me. Life does people so dirty like that and it is what it is.

Is that degrading or inspirational? (Word to Ab-Soul) I’m trying to figure this out to be honest with you. I remember watching a documentary where a man said that some people were born to be successful and others were born to be mediocre (or something along those lines) and I don’t want to say that the person is right HOWEVER, there is a lot of weight behind those words.

Not to be too negative here because there is always a good in the bad. Not everybody in this world will get what they want which is unfortunate but it does provide some decent motivation for those who feel that they don’t want to get lost in the matrix. I want everyone who reads this succeed (because fuck you if you don’t read this amazingly, awesome, outstanding blog with a total of a couple of views per post!!!) and hopefully it will happen. I feel like it’s a bit maddening when thinking of the possibility of failure which is a lot higher than most will want to admit.


Quick question time

Question time

Is having ambition disrespectful? Can it be offensive to aim high? I feel like it could be looked at in a way which is more negative than positive. It might just be a matter of context because let’s be honest, without context we’re fucking lost.

A few months ago, I was working with someone who was studying his A-levels. I probably could have guessed that he expected to achieve a lot from life when he told me that he planned on going to either Oxford or Havard for his university education.

My face when he said Oxford or Havard

Honestly, I could say loads about the encounter that I had with this person but that’s not relevant. The person was clearly smart and enjoyed interacting with people but, when I asked him if he would consider a job in the same industry as me, he shot it down quicker than ladies do to Johnny Bravo. I can’t remember what he said exactly but it was along the lines of he wants something much better. I can’t blame him because it’s the same for me.

I understand where he’s coming from but is it disrespectful to the people in my industry doing the same job as me? Some of the people that I’ve worked with absolutely love the industry and everything that comes with it (I had one person say to me that he wants to stay until he’s 90). Most people don’t get what they want from their professional careers but it doesn’t mean that they don’t work hard, even if they don’t put in the necessary amount of work to work efficiently on a daily basis, they work too hard to be looked down upon, right? The thing is that you can’t blame people for wanting more from life, even if they express it in a way that may seem disrespectful. I’m sure that I’ve heard somewhere that to be successful, you need to have a ruthless streak in you.


For somebody to state their ambition in a way that doesn’t seem offensive, does the ambition have to be modest? I feel like the world needs its dream chasers because everyone needs someone to support. Personally, I feel like I can’t connect to someone who says that they want to be the manager of an establishment the way that I could connect to someone who says that they want to own their own establishment. Not to say that I wouldn’t take the person who wanted to be the manager seriously but it comes across as so-so to me (just like a certain chain of Italian themed British restaurants… You know which one I’m talking about). There are a lot of people who feel as if they’re not built to work full time and some feel that they may do a 9-5 however, they can get high up which is fair especially given that in life a lot people go through the motions in their daily lives before going to sleep. I feel like it is what it is when somebody shuns an industry because the truth is that having ambition does come with thinking that certain places of work are for denizens…

I was about to write on but I just saw someone drive through the car park in a Porsche SUV and then saw another SUV which had leather seats and was coated a beautiful gold. I’ve lost my train of thought but I WANT THOSE CARS IN MY LIFE!!!


Thoughts on Mnemosyne

This was the most appropriate image I could find

(Possible spoilers)

Have you ever wondered what seeing disturbing sexual scenes in an anime looks like? Neither have I, but somebody out there did and that’s why we have Mnemosyne (which is Latin for memory apparently). The show follows the story of an immortal detective call Rin Asogi along with her friend Mimi and other characters that come and leave the show. This show isn’t what the first sentence I wrote made it seem, in fact there’s a lot going on and I know for a fact that I NEEDED to watch this show to get the taste of the Asterisk War out of my mouth.

I don’t really know how to talk about the story of this show to be honest, because it’s so faintly presented that it’s kind of hard to know what’s going on. As I said before, the story follows Rin, Mimi and everybody else and it seems that Rin is being hunted by Apos (the main antagonist) because she’s special (I’m trying not to say too much here). That is pretty much the plot in a nutshell, the anime takes place over six episodes which are all pretty much self-contained, so for the most part it seems like the episodes and the plot are on two different planes if that makes sense. This show is littered with what the fuck moments, so much so that I wonder if the true intention behind the show is to make people feel weird and uncomfortable. The intent of the show can’t be that, it’s just the way that it’s presented; if anything, I feel like the show does try to tackle the subject of the value of life because there are a couple of lines that make me feel that this is the case. I can’t say that I liked it but I can’t say that I disliked it. There were a lot of times where I watched the show and thought ‘whoa!’, to say that I expected this show to be dark is true but I really underestimated it. From the first scene of the first episode, that should have been the sign that shit was about to go down but instead it took me to the point where I saw what I’m pretty sure is BDSM before I realised that if the dark web was a TV channel, this would be prime time television. Moving away from the sexual nature of the show because truth be told, I couldn’t even begin to explain anywhere near half of it, the story takes place over 65 years as most episodes are set years apart. This works for me because it feels like I can watch a time skip without truly missing any important information and that helps to make the pacing of the show more enjoyable.

All of the characters are linked in one way or another, mostly due to Rin’s immortality. In fact there was an explanation for it however, it’s better to watch the show rather than have it spoiled (honestly, I don’t remember so I couldn’t spoil it, even if I wanted to). The characters themselves don’t really seem to have strong personalities or maybe, it’s just that I couldn’t connect with them but one thing that a few of the main characters shared was having an innocent look only to truly be deadly when push came to shove. I did say that I never connected with the characters however the Maeno family (the others that I was referring to in the first paragraph) had something about them that made them endearing. The character who drew my attention most was Apos because he weirded me the fuck out. There wasn’t anything about Apos that didn’t disturb me, from him appearing like a teen, to having a tendency to eat fruit in a way that looked completely disgusting (the fruit is actually important but once again, it’s better to watch the show). I count that as a win for the show but outside of that, there was so little revealed about all of the characters that it was hard to truly care for them.

2L3n28y - Imgur
(What the fuck is that!?) Me when I saw Apos

I have to ask what went through the minds of the people that were involved in the making of this show because this seems like the kind of stuff that you conjure up after years of dark thoughts on torturing people have brewed and evolved in your head. If I wanted to torture somebody, I really wouldn’t have to look further than this show for inspiration; it’s not a problem for a series to want to be gory but it’s like they decided to take advantage of Rin’s immortality in order to present us with something that might be on page 485 of some particular websites. If you see how clear the animation is with the torture scenes then you’ll understand what I mean.

I really just want to say that I’m happy that I’ve come across this anime at this point in my life. If I had stumbled upon this, in my formative years then I really don’t know what this would have done to me. Dare I say it, I might have been… An emo (which could have never worked because I don’t stop smiling when I speak). In all seriousness, I just know that I wouldn’t have been ready for that kind of journey, even seasoned anime viewers could watch this and see a what the fuck around every corner whilst giving the surprised reaction (my brother saw Apos naked and said “fuck this.”) I was truly overwhelmed watching this and I’m going to have to take some more time to digest what I watched… No more anime for a while.

Other thoughts:

  • I said I needed to watch this to get the taste of the asterisk war out of my mouth but it’s like washing the taste of marmite out of your mouth with wine.
  • I watched a guy go downtown and then he got killed. HUH?
  • Mimi said something about humans wanting to prove that they’re alive and that touched me because I’ve felt like that since 18.
  • I liked how most episodes started the same way, probably the one part of the show that made me feel safe.
  • Rin tried to kill someone in episode two and I couldn’t take it seriously because her boobs were being groped throughout the whole thing.
  • I’m not a dog person but there’s a scene in this show where a dog gets sprayed with bullets that makes me think ‘that’s real fucked up man!’

Fronting again…

Me thinking about this stuff

One of life’s cancers has crossed my mind again, I feel like I’ve wrote about this before at some point, probably more than once when I had my deep cap halfway on or something. I’m talking about people who struggle to keep in real and stay fronting. Humans lie, it is what it is, we front about all kinds of bullshit and sometimes we have to (jobs just don’t hand themselves out to university graduates) but it’s not always acceptable and, I wonder what the hell is going on sometimes.

The worst is when people lie about who they are! That shit makes no sense to me, I get that you can present yourself differently depending on the situation (my Twitter is nothing like my blog) but completely changing your character or making everything about you seem better than it actually is, is another level of pathetic. We all have flaws, we’re human and there’s a lot of bullshit at the surface (completely butchered Q-Tip’s line there) and as humans we train ourselves to a level where we can see through nonsense to a pretty decent degree. I can only imagine that people portray themselves in such a way because of the adoration and acceptance that they want from others which makes wonder why exactly? Longing for the acceptance of others sounds very insecure to me.

I’m getting tired reading this back

I knew a guy who tried so hard to present himself as what could be considered a perfect human, this person said so much about himself, consistently sucking himself off with everything that he said. The truth was that the dude had an ego that he couldn’t keep in check fused with a woeful level of arrogance and it was so clear that within six months of knowing the person anybody could see that the way the person spoke, he was fishing for compliments. The person added a lot of qualities to himself that he didn’t possess and I can’t understand why.

Nobody can relate to the fake (at least I hope they can’t) and why would anybody want to anyway? It’s our failures and lesser traits that makes others connect with us. Having qualities that make others want to aspire to be like us is great but I feel that if you want that to be an example for others then you need to let them notice that rather than announcing it, proclaiming your greatness in the very essence of the act is all about trying to get acceptance and that’s the first thought for me when I see people fronting. You can’t make everybody respect you, so don’t.

That’s just my thoughts, to each their own. I feel like when it comes to fronting, life doesn’t give you space for stupid antics after you leave college and I don’t think that’s unfair to say. It’s not a crime to have your own lane and the world and go down it (unless you’re a racist/rapist/paedophile or some other kind of cunt) especially given that people only get given one chance at being themselves.

Life is short…

This is life being happy at how short it knows it is

The cliché of life being short seems to gain more meaning, the older that I get. I don’t understand why life is like this? I’m a serial procrastinator and I make excuses for things that I can do relatively quickly, so when I look back at things (which I shouldn’t do as often as I do) life feels like it’s very short, although in the grand scheme of things it is.

Everybody has their tailor made expiry date and before that time comes it’s crazy to me how much of us end up doing the same things (mainly balancing out professional and personal lives in a way that probably leaves us too tired to deal with either). Where there’s a will there’s a way or so they say, so I’m assuming that in life we all have what we need to achieve all of the things that we want and make life a truly individual experience. There are so many times where I find myself bored and it makes me wonder if I’m doing life wrong but chances are that I’m doing it right (I used to work with a guy who said that most people go to work only to go home and watch porn and that’s why I say this). I saw a tweet a while ago where somebody said that there’s a whole world to explore and it hit home because of how true it is.

When I think about this kind of stuff, I get in one of those moods where I feel as if I understand why people say follow your passion (even though I want money). Whether life is about following your passion or not is for another day, life is probably about adding some kind of personal meaning to it. Looking at how short life is, it just gives me another level of respect for the people who try to do the most with themselves, some people spend time trying to make their dreams come true, others spend time travelling, in fact one woman that I went to university just spends all her time these days travelling and whilst a friend of mine and myself have two wildly different theories on how she’s managed to do this, it doesn’t change the fact that she understands (or it seems) that time is of the essence). There are just so many things that people do to enhance their quality of life.

We get stuck with bills and other bs, there’s no way around that but we really do have limited time. I feel like we barely get enough time to make an impact on things and I won’t even begin to talk about what could happen once we die. It’s crazy stuff to me.

Some politics related thoughts…


Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be politician. I’ve heard that if you can lie then you’re pretty much a politician and just to make sure you understand me, I mean the government type of politician and not the Triple H type (I know you were aware, I just wanted to write that line). I watch House of Cards (which is a very good show by the way) which follows the political career and personal life of Frank Underwood (somebody who could get Donald Trump or any political leader that isn’t Putin out of power) and there’s so much backstabbing as well as other kinds of despicable behaviour. After the Brexit vote, the public found out that Michael Gove sent an email to some of his Conservative buddies about Boris Johnson (who has loads of charisma and I’m not sure how he does it) which completely backfired on him and it made me realise that maybe House of Cards is onto something here.

I have no true political insight to give on this, I’m just curious about the kind of conversations that take place behind the scenes. Who’s bantering Theresa May about the letter F (which is for friendship) falling off the stage, who’s calling who a pillock or whatever kind of insults they use and… I’m start to think that I’m writing like a tabloid journalist.

Over the past week, I’ve been reading about a supposed plot for Boris Johnson to usurp Theresa May as the leader of the Conservative party given that he set out his own Brexit guidelines (correct me if I’m wrong) and that supposedly shows some division within the party. This is part of what makes me have an interest in politics because on my end it’s all hearsay; Boris Johnson wouldn’t speak out against Theresa may even with how easy it is to target her with criticism given how she’s handling Brexit but then again he might just be playing his position properly. I’ve looked into a politics a little and it seems like a bunch of individuals with their own agendas which is probably obvious despite the whole parties running against each other thing and what not and it makes me wonder what each person has to gain.

Is leading a country a bragging right of some sort? Politics is a shit storm (I can’t even take credit for those words, that belongs to Valentino Senpai whose blog you should check out) of completely concealed intentions isn’t it? I can’t really shit on politicians here but there are questions that I want to ask because as I write this, I’m thinking that politicians are mostly concerned about the top spot in their respective parties so do any issues outside of leadership matter? Do they?

Maybe I need to think about politics on a more critical level rather than a conspiracy theorist but somehow I feel that the more I learn, the more I’ll understand where they’re coming from (except the ones who say world leaders are reptiles or some shit like that). Then again maybe I’m just asking too many questions and just like that I’ve realised that I stopped focusing on writing on the wonder of a politician’s day to day life.

Just gonna sit there and dislike shit because…


Once upon a time I was called a hipster and I thought ‘fuck you and everything you stand for!’ because I’m not a hipster. Admittedly, I do that thing where I don’t pay attention to popular things just because, I don’t do it often. At times I feel that things which are popular are kind of shit. When it comes to hating popular stuff or at the very least, disliking things that people are meant to like I think it can be a lifestyle for some but for others it’s just fun and that I respect. It’s not even about negativity, sometimes you just need those people who serve the purpose of opposing and antagonising.

I can’t mention any super personal experiences with these kind of people and the value that they have brought upon my life because of my power to retcon nonsense from my existence however, I can say that being an antagonist is fun (as fuck). Sometime this year or last, not that it matters, I went to a Monday Night Raw show with a friend of mine and when Roman Reigns came out we all started booing him. My friend, being the kind of person who actually understands the things he does turned around and asked me why we were booing him; it makes sense since we’ve had loads of conversations about how Roman Reigns isn’t as bad everybody wants to believe he is but anyway I told him to shut the fuck up and not ruin the moment! In all seriousness, I told him that booing Reigns is fun and we continued to boo him for the rest of the segment.

I used to put on my fake deep cap and wonder what kind of empty existence causes people to hate things (especially pop culture… GASP!) but now that I’ve grown up and realised that I don’t have time for pretending to be deep, I been able to really understand how fun it is to dislike shit at times. Watching people get upset about the fact that you dislike the shit that they like or joining forces with other people who don’t fuck with shit can bring an enjoyment that only comes from seeing the fun in not conforming.

It’s good for me to know that I’m aware I’m going to dislike shit just because. I originally wanted to write something very self-reflective showing how I’d grow as a person and stop being the guy who dislikes shit because it’s funny at times but now I’m thinking about the amount of times that I’ve been called a troll. It’s happened LOADS of time actually, I’m thinking that what I’ve described is along the lines of trolling but whatever, fuck it! I’m not a troll.

Quick thoughts on The Asterisk War


I finished watching The Asterisk War a few days ago and I needed time to really take in what I just viewed. I’ve got some shit to say on this one, first being that whoever exposed this series to me needs to DM me on Twitter so that we can have words. Second goes without saying but I should get a reward or compensation and I’ll need to think of a hashtag to make this official. I’m probably being harsh on this series but I’m not going to act like this series is good. I mean on paper it looks interesting enough and I went in with no expectations but I just couldn’t help but wanting more from nearly every aspect of the series. I think I could go on for a bit with this one so I’m just going to write a couple of paragraphs and see where it goes.

The soundtrack was good and I liked the character designs, I want to make sure that it doesn’t seem like I’m going to shit on this show. In all honesty this series hovers around the average zone in terms of quality because it looks as if it tries to play everything safe. I felt like there was just enough of a story to keep me watching but there was nothing that made me think this could be a standout show. I’m trying to think about it now as I write but the show really doesn’t do itself any favours in terms of making any memorable or enjoyable moments, it just goes along. I really have a load of thoughts that I think I’m going to write at the end of this post.

Three paragraphs in… and now I’m about to tell you the plot (or what I understand of it), so basically a meteorite struck the earth and gave humans superpowers, these superpowers interest people so much that the superhumans who are called genestella fight in different tournaments all year round called festas (this series only shows the phoenix festa) and the winners get their wishes granted. In response to the meteorite striking the earth, a group of people whose name I can’t and won’t try to remember take control of the earth as some kind of central government. The main character, a guy named Ayato goes to an academy with the hope of finding his sister who disappeared five years prior and this is probably as good as the explanation is going to get.

Me wondering if you’re still reading by this point

The other main characters in the series are called Julis, Saya, Kirin, Claudia, Lester and everyone else’s name will be dropped with some context (hopefully). Back to the plot, this show has 24 episodes and in spite of that, everything seems so rushed. There’s barely any explanation for anything like the origin of the festas, Ayato’s strength, the nature of the ogre lux’s (weapons) that they use and so many other things. It looks like this series just does stuff because… I just watched a bunch of anime tropes get clusterfucked into a ball of complete mediocrity. I know that it’s normal for anime to borrow from other anime but this was just so in your face with it, I really felt like I could say that I’ve seen this before for so many things with this series and it would be an accurate description for this series despite the fact that it’s such a general statement. Most of the episodes that take place before the phoenix festa really didn’t do anything to stamp home any relevance which isn’t a good thing given how many characters they introduced. I think I could say more about the plot but then it might start getting to the point where I nitpick, in all honesty it’s one of those shows that you have to watch for yourself to see how many questions you end up asking.

If I had to say that there was a sticking point for what was bad about this series, it was the characters themselves. They all failed to be interesting and completely drowned in the presence of Ayato which I’ll get into later. All of the main characters were meant to be strong somewhat but it’s hard to buy into their strength when watching how far they were eclipsed by Ayato. Other than trying to get Ayato’s attention, I really had trouble making out their personalities e.g I know that Julis was meant to be a strong willed character but outside of her talking about her goals I couldn’t see it and everyone else was… well… everyone else.

Ayato was by far the biggest sin of this series when it came to characters. He was perfect, which I’ve learned is awful. He came into the school supremely strong, quickly activated the fan service of this show if you look at the first scene, had an attitude where he couldn’t be bothered by anything and became the guy that everybody decided to over rely on. I don’t get too bothered this stuff but he had no flaws which meant that there was no room for growth as a character, there was no room for tension and it became disrespectfully obvious that Ayato was going to win the phoenix festa. Ayato was bland as a character which isn’t always bad but in his case it was, he was a prime example of the series playing it safe because it meant that the main group of characters could never get into a truly sticky situation as Ayato would always be there to bail them out. There never ever seemed as if there could be tension within the group because in the case that there was Ayato would probably solve the issue. I always wondered what kind of overpowered main character bs that Ayato would pull and when it came to the first fight of the phoenix festa, I just had to wait for the series to outdo itself. I could never really tell if Ayato’s motive was to find his sister or to bone Julis because he did a poor job with both, even the whole thing of him being whipped by Julis made little sense to me, I mean in real life there are guys who play the game that way and will endure nonsense from women as long as they end up doing the dirty but anime doesn’t usually work that way. It just seemed like the show tried to make Ayato cool by taking the best qualities of any imagined character and putting it into one hoping for the best and instead it ended up being a disaster. I get how having the best qualities ever makes you seem more interesting but it puts characters out of touch with the audience because there’s nobody on this earth who could possibly be the way that he is in any sense.

I’m going to be honest, this isn’t anywhere near one of my best posts but thinking and writing about this series makes me tired so I’m just going to put the rest in notes.

Other thoughts:

  • From the first episode I got the feeling that it would be better for the world if I finished this show as quickly as possible.
  • From the first few minutes of episode 2 it was obvious that a lot of girls in this series would take to Ayato.
  • In episode 2 I learned that Julis isn’t a snitch and even though in that case it didn’t make sense, I respected it!
  • Ayato’s sister was obviously alive, this wasn’t even shocking.
  • I used to play these sim date games when I was younger and this show gives me that vibe.
  • When the people attacking Julis turned out to be puppets made by a guy named Silas (whose name I just learned at that point) I was disappointed.
  • I was hoping that this series wouldn’t turn into a love story but that would have been better than what I watched.
  • Some of the camera angles in Ayato’s fight with Kirin didn’t make any sense.
  • Kirin is 13? The fan service in this show knows no bounds.
  • I didn’t know what prana was until it got mentioned in episode 7 but when it was mentioned, it was as if I was meant to know what it was.
  • Ayato and Kirin’s interactions always give that I need an adult, I am an adult vibe.
  • So the girls in the series want to be petted on the head by Ayato? I don’t know if I have to say what I’m thinking here.
  • Lester is useless.
  • It was hard to be interested in Claudia’s ability when they weren’t really showcased.
  • How many moves does Ayato know?
  • The fight between Ayato and Irene was pointless (there’s someone in the series called Irene), nothing went into the build-up.
  • Ayato and Julis’ relationship is probably the most realistic part about him, sometimes you just wanna hit it for no reason.
  • Ayato unlocking the next level of his power could have been interesting if he wasn’t already stupidly strong.
  • Ayato and Julis vs AR-D and RM-C wasn’t interesting at all, especially considering that Ayato was already out of their league.
  • Why was Julis told about Ayato’s sword taking the ideal form of its wielder and Ayato wasn’t?

The community…



After blogging for a couple of years, I’ve learned a few things about the blogging community. Most of what I’ve learned comes from the fact that the blogging community (or at least the wordpress community) is full of kind people, I’m sure I pointed this out when I was comparing the wordpress community and the twitter community. My favourite thing about the blogging community is that no matter how much nonsense is spewed in a blog post, there are always people willing to read the post and see the positives in it, giving a possible like and comment along the way. This is the kind of thing that definitely helps to give people confidence in their writing because they know that they can be themselves and they don’t have to write in a way to please others like how you might find on other forms of social media.

Sometimes, I look back through a couple of my blog posts and when it comes down to it I’ve definitely wrote some of that good bs. I have to wonder what people think at times when they’re reading my posts, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that my posts even receive views but sometimes I do wonder if people look at the title of the post and are wary. I can’t make too many assumptions about the people in the blogging community but I have nothing negative to say, I wouldn’t call blogging anti-social media but it’s probably the best way to describe it just based on the fact that the things I see when blogging aren’t like what I see on social media. If I read a post with lots of comments, the comments usually show support, respond to the points made in the post or have constructive criticism whereas on other social media, if there’s a post that gains a lot of attention it’s likely to be negative (I’m even guilty of saying some mean things… usually to racists though).

I’ve never been worried about writing a post on here, not that I’ve ever been worried about writing a post on other social media, just look at my twitter feed. The thing about other social media is that there can be the feeling of being a little on edge because it’s very pc and if you write something that could allow people to jump to conclusions based on something that you haven’t implied or said that you’ll find that a lot of people load up their internet confidence and come at you. I can get away with saying a lot of things on here, I don’t have to pretend to sound smart and write some well-articulated nonsense, I reckon that if I did then it would be noticed anyway.

I just have to appreciate that the people here will read through bs. I don’t know where the tolerance of the blogging community ends and I’m not trying to find out, considering how much shitness I see online, it can be hard to believe that wordpress powers so much of the internet. If a time ever does come where I have something to say about the wordpress community in particular, it means that Donald Trump is a great president.