Marriage proposals…


Not too long ago, I saw a man propose to his girlfriend. I don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship but what I do know is the marriage proposal wasn’t accepted. After seeing that, the first thing I thought was the relationship had to be over or at least severely damaged and I found myself thinking about what I would do in that situation and honestly, I don’t know how I would cope. Marriage isn’t something light, I feel that it’s something that both people have to be on the same page for otherwise the relationship could get unnecessarily complicated.

Not everyone wants to get married which is ok, but if marriage is something that both people want, then at some point is has to be discussed, right? I can’t imagine marriage being one of those things that a couple takes a chance on because it’s supposedly a big step. I’ve always thought that if a couple get married, then the likelihood is they are both well aware of the intention for the relationship to go in that direction before the proposal is even made. Everybody is different when it comes to the way that they react to being rejected in that situation but I doubt that there’s somebody out there who doesn’t ask questions of the relationship once that happens.

My soul when I saw the rejection

I know that some people get into relationships for reasons like passing time or avoiding being single and it’s not as if they share that information with their partner but the more you get to know someone, the more your gut feeling will tell you about them.

I’ve heard of marriages still going ahead even after the first few proposals got rejected (just had to read that again… oh boy) and I’m interested in hearing people moved past that. My insecurities would start showing if that happened to me to be honest and I would be asking a lot of questions of myself and the relationship. I feel that it’s hard to accept any justification for the rejection of a marriage proposal without feeling that your partner is hiding something that they don’t want to tell you, whether it is cheating or that you haven’t done a good enough job as a partner to make them feel ready for marriage.

When I saw the marriage proposal get rejected, I felt like the proposal was made on a whim and the man knew what he wanted to hear but he hadn’t discussed the situation with his girlfriend. They definitely weren’t on the same page and I could feel the awkwardness even though I was a few feet away. There’s a chance that the couple are working their way through the situation and might be better off for it but I still can’t help but think about the awkward period that they encountered.


Quick question time

Quick question time

If you could make one thing that you think people need in their everyday lives what would it be? A lot of times, we don’t know that we need something until we have it but there are things we don’t have that people have thought for a while and could benefit the human race. I’m pretty sure people have made millions off selling shit that we don’t need but that’s beside the point.

I don’t think it exists so what I’d want is a dock that you could put your hairbrush or comb into which would absorb the dandruff into a tray for emptying at a later time. I fucking hate dandruff, I don’t really deal with it but at the same time I’d prefer to prevent it from becoming a problem for me because I’m not ready for the full effects of it at my age. Other than that I just think it would be extremely useful.

Anyway, let me ask again, if you could make one thing that you think people need in their everyday lives what would it be?

Virtue signallers…

People when they get a chance to virtue signal

The other day, I saw a fight and I’m going to be honest, one of the people involved looked like he was getting rocked UFC style. It all seemed to happen in slow motion because he couldn’t find his balance but he was eating those fists. I’m surprised he didn’t get injured a lot more because it was definitely a four on one but that’s not the point. A lot of people stood watching the fight and one person walked past saying “It’s funny how no one wants to call the police.” She left and the person next to me asked why she couldn’t do that and he brought up a very valid point.

Me and the person I was next to watching the fight

I can’t stand virtue signallers, always pretending to take the moral high ground in order to show that they have the wellbeing of others in mind yet when it comes down to the actual thing, they’re just as idle as those who aren’t signalling. I don’t understand what people gain from pretending to care, actions will always speak louder than words so if you don’t follow through, then are you really in the right for calling people out on not doing what you supposedly think is the right thing to do? People aren’t perfect and humans won’t always have the right response in a situation but we can definitely call bullshit on someone who also doesn’t have the right response but wants to seem like they do, so it’s easier just to not do it.

Virtue signallers are on the same level as people who snap in the club pretending to enjoy their time just so that people can validate them. It’s all a facade, a crappy one at that and it does no favours for anybody, you’d think by now people see that kind of stuff as a waste of time but it seems to me as if more people are doing it and I know that I’ll never truly understand why. There are some situations that are hard to be truthful in but I don’t think they’re the ones where people virtue signal, it looks as if people just want to feed their egos when they do the whole virtue signalling thing and that’s fucking annoying.

Life isn’t a competition so there’s no need for anybody to really try and prove something only for it to be obvious that it means nothing to everyone involved. If you want to be an example you’ve got to lead by it, we’re told this God knows how many times.

Social media apologies…


One thing that I see happening a lot are public apologies on social media when someone does something wrong and you know what? I don’t get it. Why do people apologise to social media when they’re guilty of wrongdoing for anything? Doesn’t it only make sense to apologise to social media if what you’ve done has affected the public? If that isn’t the case then what’s the point in saying sorry to the public? Who is the apology meant to touch exactly?

Social media allows for strangers to know the business of other strangers but that doesn’t mean that anybody is entitled to know anyone else’s business. It’s as if the fact that business can made public on social media means that everybody who sees it is involved but if we’re being honest, the majority of spectators on social media are either looking for conflict or entertainment, they really don’t care about what’s happening. A lot of people get put under pressure to give an apology once they’re accused of something but when they eventually cave and give said apology, it still isn’t enough. Even more so, it doesn’t make much sense to allow people who aren’t involved in the situation put pressure on you, the apology is only meaningful if it’s given to those directly and involved and they forgive the action.

I’ve seen so many social media apologies and not one has made any sense to me. I’m going to be honest, if I offend a blogger and their friends get pissed at me then it is what it is, as far as I’m concerned if I apologise, it’s only going to be to the blogger that I offended directly, their friends can enjoy my blogger fingers. Apologies over social media have always seemed fake to me, it looks more like it’s damage control in order to preserve a good reputation rather than apologising to show that you’re deeply ashamed by what you’ve done.

Blogger fingers!

I’d go as far to say that an apology over social media is a pisstake based off it seeming as if the person apologising values the forgiveness of the public over the ones they offended. No matter how I think about it, a social media apology will never make sense to me, but it seems to be a decent PR tactic.

Challenging games…

Me enjoying a difficult game

These days, when I play games I don’t really tend to struggle (unless it’s killing that fucking first dragon in Dragon Age: Inquisition), I don’t want to say that it’s because games have gotten easier over the years, I think it’s more to do with the fact that I first put my hands on a games console controller when I was around 6 or something. What I’m saying here is that when games come out and I see the controls I feel that it’s kind of easy for me to adapt to them so if I spend a long time trying to complete the game, chances are that it’s based off me not playing it as regularly as I could be. It makes me miss finding games really challenging.

Games shouldn’t be ridiculously hard because we’re supposed to complete them but, I do enjoy having a bit of a struggle because it makes it that much sweeter when I complete the game. I miss the feeling of being challenged when I play a game, the last time that I decided to play a game to challenge myself was when I played Uncharted 3 in crushing difficulty, I did way better than I thought I would and fell into despair asking if this was the curse that was laid upon me… Minimal struggle in games. It didn’t really go like that but I couldn’t help feel a little disappointed by the fact that I didn’t have those frustration induced tears. When I play games, I find myself giving more focus to the story because they don’t seem as challenging these days (or maybe I’m playing the wrong games).

Games like the Grand Theft Auto series will always have a special place for me because they’re rarely easy (GTA 5 was a pushover compared to the other ones I’ve played but it wasn’t easy). Part of the reason that I look so forward to GTA releases are because I know that the game will have a bit of a challenge and that packs so much excitement into the game. Difficult games have always had a hold on me, I think it’s because sometimes my pride kicks in and it also gives the hours that I put in some purpose rather than leaving me feeling as if I wasted so much time. I’d even say that it slightly teaches us something about not giving up because something that seems difficult can be overcome and on the second playthrough it’s hard to understand why it seemed so difficult to begin with.

It can piss me off to play a game that’s hard, so much so that I might call the characters motherfuckers or something like that but it’s also engaging and in a weird way, I enjoy it. It makes the game really worth it when it takes so much of your time because you’re really engaging your brain and you can almost feel your reflexes getting sharper as well as that good feeling when you progress. When I play games like the Assassin’s Creed series I’m only playing them because they’re assassin’s creed games but they’re stupidly easy.

It is what it is though, if time is spent practicing something then the only thing that can happen is to get better even if it is at an expense.

Random thought

When it comes to newspapers, we know that they have audiences they appeal to and they also have political sides that they like to take. It helps to explain why you see so many of the same kinds of people reading them, I don’t have a problem with that because being completely objective is impossible in my opinion. I do have an issue with the way that journalists write for a paper and what they’re willing to do in order to fit in with the narrative. The media is powerful and people who are involved in the media definitely understand the kind of power that they wield in their hands, I think anyone who gets involved in that industry realises that there’s a degree of power that they’re given and it doesn’t seem to matter as to whether you’re fair with your use of it or not.

If you know about the Daily Mail, then you know that they like certain kinds of people and there are others that they’re extremely willing to demonise. One person that the Daily Mail likes to point its gun at is Stormzy, a well known grime MC who’s not afraid to speak his mind. It goes further than that though, it’s not only the fact that they paint him in a bad light when he’s the focus of their articles but when it comes to people that he’s worked with who get in trouble, they’re very quick to mention his name as if he’s involved and that only helps to make him look worse. I doubt that the Daily Mail are going to stop but it got me thinking about how journalists don’t seem to feel any kind of way about tarnishing somebody else’s name just because it puts money in their pockets.

Daily Mail journalists when they get a chance to ruin someone’s name

I get that in a professional environment, you have to put your personal feelings aside but when it comes to journalism it almost seems as if there’s a vendetta when journalists write about people on behalf of their paper. I kind of get that their hands are tied but if I’m being honest, I can’t respect it at all; I don’t like the whole idea of talking badly about someone that you personally have no problem with and the refusal to hold back when doing it, there’s such a lack of integrity in it. It can also have a deep effect on the subject of the article and the thing is that said person is the one who has to deal with the fall out whilst the journalist goes on living their life.

Wishing for just journalism is a dream, I don’t think it’s in the nature of it but I still feel like the reasons to practically take the identity of your paper to speak in a certain way of someone who might not even bother you aren’t really justified.

Quick question time


Quick question time

Do you ever think that there’s a point in life where you’ll stop asking questions? As in you eventually come to a point in life where you feel that you’ve seen it all or maybe the experiences that you’ve had put you on an island where you feel like you don’t have to engage with anything.

I’ve always thought that asking questions was one of the many things that we’re naturally inclined to do, because that’s how we can push ourselves and churn out products that help people to progress. There’s so much information that is available to people and it becomes easier to access with each passing day, there are apps for your phones/tablets (or phablets because apparently that’s a thing) that can tell you random bits of information without you having to put in effort to find it.

People grow and with growth there’s always learning (I heard that experience is the best teacher), learning is essential but does the amount you learn slow down over time to the point it’s crawling. The experiences we have will usually help to shape our thoughts and before we know it, we’re seeing things that confirm what we believe because we’ve seen it so many times. Life isn’t something that can be mastered (I’m still going to do it though) and maybe that’s frustrating because so many nonsensical curves are thrown in the way and for some it might just make them think ‘fuck it’ and take life as it goes.

Anyway let me ask again, do you ever think that there’s a point in life where you’ll stop asking questions?


In recent days, I’ve seen some weirdness on social media which has got me thinking about how life just is what it is. The perception that people have of you without having met you can be so unjustified to the point that it’s ridiculous and the worst part of it all is that you can’t do anything to change it for some people. When it comes down to people, they’ll hate you because they want to hate you, they’ll never have a reason for doing so and anything that you do which goes against their perception of you will be disregarded or even worse, twisted in a way to match the perception that said person has of you.

You can’t win with everybody. There are lessons out there that people learn and I love how watching something from the sidelines will reinforce that lesson almost as if it’s a new experience. It’s a shame that people want to think of others in a negative way without actually knowing the person (maybe it’s their aura) but that’s a part of life and that contributes to how mysterious life is. I see why so many people choose to focus on themselves and this is something which screams to me that looking for external validation is dangerous because you never know of the kinds of people that you’re searching for validation from.

Quick question time


Quick question time

If you were given a chance to erase your reality and be placed in a new one so you couldn’t make the make the mistakes that you made this time around would you? You would be allowed to keep the memories from the last reality so that the chance of you making the same mistakes are minimised and nobody else would have knowledge of any of this. That sounds like a great deal doesn’t it?

Personally, I wouldn’t take it. I think there are too many variables, I couldn’t imagine restarting life, getting to the age of 10 and for some reason I have memories of the things I regret doing (and not doing) at 21. I think that would mess me up because I’d have no idea how to process them and that might lead to me making even greater mistakes. I also don’t know if the reality that I’m placed in would be ideal, I could be in a war torn country, where my main priority is being alive let alone trying to make something of it. A farfetched thought comes to mind where I feel that there would almost certainly be a catch to me keeping all of my memories, if I was placed in a reality that wasn’t of my choosing which was great and I kept the memories to make it almost perfect then I think there would be someone pulling the strings who’d eventually blackmail me into doing some bullshit, it could be a thing.

I know that these thoughts sound like shit that someone would come up with when they take the drugs but there is a possibility for anything to happen. To be honest, challenges in life are meant to be overcome and nothing is forever, so in most cases there’s a good chance that what troubles someone now won’t be troubling said person two or three years down the line. There’s a corny saying to support my point of view that I can’t remember but I’m sure I’ve made my point clear enough.

So, I ask again, if you were given a chance to erase your reality and be placed in a new one so you couldn’t make the make the mistakes that you made this time around would you?